With the passing of John McCain, we have lost the best example of service and courage.  He served the United States of America faithfully for sixty years.

In reading the memorials, there was a recurring theme that I felt would be best represented in a word cloud.

In John McCain’s own words…

“It is your character, and your character alone, that will make your life happy or unhappy.”  ― John McCain, Character Is Destiny: Inspiring Stories Every Young Person Should Know and Every Adult Should Remember

“We are taught to understand, correctly, that courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity for action despite our fears.”
― John McCain

“Nothing in life is more liberating than to fight for a cause larger than yourself, something that encompasses you but is not defined by your existence alone.”
― John McCain, Faith of My Fathers: A Family Memoir

When asked what he hoped people would say about him when he’s gone, John McCain simply said, he “hoped they would say he served his country…and he served it honorably”.

For us, three questions:

1. Are we teaching our children values that matter?
2. Are we giving our children so much, that they don’t think of service to others?
3. Are we growing our future heroes; are we growing the next John McCain?

Senator McCain, you have served your country very well, and we thank you for your service. Senator McCain as well as many Americans dedicated body and soul to their country, and you who feel you are in the hole without being able to achieve something successful, not only that, you also have bad credit, your only hope is a loan for bad credit, get it and with the money make a better country.

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

#JohnMcCain

In the case of Wells Fargo, words serving as their mission statement and values were carefully constructed yet meaningless catch phrases, “Everything we do is built on trust. It doesn’t happen with one transaction, in one day on the job or in one quarter. It’s earned relationship by relationship.”

Statements no doubt prepared by expensive consultants and approved by Wells Fargo’s leadership team.

America’s Most Valuable Bank is a title Wells Fargo will no longer hold as the revelation that thousands of their employees were creating bogus checking and credit card accounts in order to meet their strict and unrealistic quotas the only way possible – by cheating.

This fraudulent practice has been going on for years. Over two million fake accounts were created and, as a result, over 5000 people were fired. Clearly this scandal reveals cultural and management problems at Wells Fargo. There are lessons to be learned from this crazy story, and one is: The Misuse of Metrics.

With over two million accounts opened, and no further activity on those accounts, the only metric that mattered was opening accounts.  Where was the compliance monitoring?

Best said by Senator Elizabeth Warren who challenged Wells Fargo’s CEO John Stumpf at Banking Committee Hearing.

Let’s also consider Mylan’s CEO Heather Bresch who testified in front of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.  The price of the device, used in emergencies to treat severe allergic reactions, has increased more than 500% since Mylan acquired it in 2007.

Let’s model real leadership for our children.  Hopefully their generation won’t play a game of words.  We can do better; we must do better.

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Look for 3 things in a person – intelligence, energy and integrity.  If they don’t have the last one, don’t even bother with the first two. – Warren Buffet

Two leaders were in the news this week.  One for giving us hope, and the other despair.

Pope Francis captivated America by his gestures of kindness.

Volkswagen’s CEO Martin Winterkorn led the effort to rig 11 million cars worldwide so that pollution controls would work only when regulators were testing them.  The rest of the time, on the road in regular use, a “defeat device” was engaged, and those same cars emitted up to 40 times as many smog-forming nitrogen oxides.

Talk to your children about:

• Choices people make as it relates to integrity
• The cost associated to people believing in you again
• The value of a reputation
• Experiences they can relate to, such as test taking, and students demonstrating acts of kindness

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

#parentalwisdom #integrity #valueoftheweek

The short answer is yes.

For every parent that ever told their young children, “You can grow up to be President” we have a new reality – they can’t.

This week the Supreme Court in a 5 – 4 landmark decision called a ban 0n restraint of free speech.

The ruling by a sharply divided court lifted restrictions on what corporations and labor organizations may invest to sway voters in federal elections, meaning both groups now have the freedom to pour unlimited amounts of money into races for the Senate and the House of Representatives for all 50 states.

This opens the door to corporate corruption and closes the door to Mr. Smith goes to Washington.

Hopefully, when asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Johnny will have another career in mind.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.
– Publilius Syrus 100 BC Maxims

In the midst of our incredibly busy days, parents search for something called quality time. But time is time, and each week we are given exactly 10,080 minutes; no more, no less. Time is the great equalizer – it doesn’t matter how much or how little money you have.

How we spend that time is what matters. Interestingly, we often spend time in things we can document, quantify or measure, such as activities like sports, school, chores, and work. But what matters more are the things you can’t measure, such as the impact of teachable moments. We need to look at those opportunities as gifts and capitalize on them.

Thank you Former Governor Spitzer. Thank you for giving us the opportunity the explain to our children the difference between little and big mistakes. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to ask our children a simple but very important question,

“What do you think your reputation is worth?”

Since we are surrounded by popular culture, what used to be considered infamous is now immediately considered famous. We are in the parenting fight of our lives and need to find opportunities to reinforce our values despite the world’s perceptions of values imploding around us.

The young woman in the Spitzer case stands to make millions from the publicity. Again, discuss with your children what her reputation is really worth? A new show called Moment of Truth offers large money prizes for true answers. Unless you’ve lead a Mother Teresa-like existence, I would suggest not trading your reputation and family embarrassment for dollars.

Despite your best attempts, you can’t be around your children all the time, so the next best thing is to make sure they are thinking before they act. No doubt they will make mistakes, but have discussions that reinforce the values you want to instill so you can at least minimize that possibility. I know you think children sometimes don’t listen, but they do. After all, if we didn’t listen, how could you explain that when we grow up we all sound just like our mothers or fathers.

As you end your discussion, put this seed in your child’s head;

“Before you do something – think, would you be proud or embarrassed for us to learn about it?”

That will tell them all they need to know.

“People who cheat cannot get away with it.”

– Marion Jones in a 2004 interview

Yet another ‘hero’ falls from grace by her own admission as a drug cheat. Before last week, Jones has always vehemently denied taking performance-enhancing drugs and many were willing to believe her. After all, she was a high school star who appeared blessed with immense natural talent. After seven years, time has finally caught up with her.

She deserves an award all right, but not necessarily the Olympic medals; more like an Academy Award. A tearful Jones admitted to taking the anabolic steroid stanozolol, only after pleading guilty to a charge of lying to United States Government investigators.

Let’s hope the medals now go to their real winners, Jamaica’s Sandie Richards, Catherine Scott-Pomales, Deon Hemmings and Lorraine Graham-Fenton who performed so gallantly in the 4×400 metres final.

For the rest of us mere mortals, let’s introduce our children to the worthy heroes that live among us.