Comments for Parental Wisdom® by Tina Nocera http://parentalwisdom.com/blog because kids don't come with manuals® Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:12:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Comment on Sometimes you need to have an awkward conversation by NG http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390687 NG Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:12:12 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390687 When he was in high school, my son and his friends loved jazz. For his birthday, we took him and his friends into NYC to the Village Vanguard, for a couple hours of jazz. They felt cooool, sitting at the tiny tables in the dimly lit room, listening to the featured trio play. I quietly took the waitress aside, and said: "all the kids at these tables, they're all in high school, and do not get any alcohol." She nodded, understandingly. One of the boys overhead me, and said: "WHAT? Oh MAN!" (Meaning: "Come on, you don't really mean that, do you?") I just jokingly said: "Not tonight. Not on MY watch!" When the evening was over and they were saying goodnight, the group said: "This was the best party ever." The fun came from the music and from being together, alcohol wasn't necessary. When he was in high school, my son and his friends loved jazz. For his birthday, we took him and his friends into NYC to the Village Vanguard, for a couple hours of jazz. They felt cooool, sitting at the tiny tables in the dimly lit room, listening to the featured trio play. I quietly took the waitress aside, and said: “all the kids at these tables, they’re all in high school, and do not get any alcohol.” She nodded, understandingly. One of the boys overhead me, and said: “WHAT? Oh MAN!” (Meaning: “Come on, you don’t really mean that, do you?”) I just jokingly said: “Not tonight. Not on MY watch!” When the evening was over and they were saying goodnight, the group said: “This was the best party ever.” The fun came from the music and from being together, alcohol wasn’t necessary.

]]> Comment on Sometimes you need to have an awkward conversation by NG http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390668 NG Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:35:16 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390668 The vast majority of parents were gracious and understanding about those tough questions. One or two were indignant: "Well, if we don't serve alcohol, they'll just go someplace else and get it. But we won't let it get out of hand." At that point, I just made the conversation very light and non-judgmental, and said something like "Oh, I see, well, thanks so much, I'll come pick them up in 45 minutes." (And I DID.) Then, I told my kids they could have fun some other way: they could invite their friends to our house, or I'd treat them and their friends to a movie, bowling, ice-skating, roller-skating, miniature golf, ice-cream, etc. I got a LOT of attitude, but I could live with that. The vast majority of parents were gracious and understanding about those tough questions. One or two were indignant: “Well, if we don’t serve alcohol, they’ll just go someplace else and get it. But we won’t let it get out of hand.” At that point, I just made the conversation very light and non-judgmental, and said something like “Oh, I see, well, thanks so much, I’ll come pick them up in 45 minutes.” (And I DID.) Then, I told my kids they could have fun some other way: they could invite their friends to our house, or I’d treat them and their friends to a movie, bowling, ice-skating, roller-skating, miniature golf, ice-cream, etc. I got a LOT of attitude, but I could live with that.

]]> Comment on Sometimes you need to have an awkward conversation by admin http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390644 admin Fri, 01 Mar 2013 16:47:11 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390644 You do what is in the best interest of your child. You do what is in the best interest of your child.

]]> Comment on Sometimes you need to have an awkward conversation by NG http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390639 NG Fri, 01 Mar 2013 15:43:50 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390639 I was always considered the "hard-nosed" parent, when my children were teens. I went to or called the party house myself and spoke with the parents. I not only asked if a parent would be home, but also if they would be visually supervising the teens. [Sometimes parents are home, but are up in their bedroom watching TV and are not aware of what's going on downsatirs.] On prom night, I called the limo company and restaurants and asked if alcohol would be served. My children were beyond mortified. Guess what. Many years later, I got some thanks-yous. First, from the other parents who said: "I'm so glad you checked things out." Then, from my kids, who said: "When we saw how the other kids behaved in college, we were glad you raised us like you did." So, hang tough. It pays off. I was always considered the “hard-nosed” parent, when my children were teens. I went to or called the party house myself and spoke with the parents. I not only asked if a parent would be home, but also if they would be visually supervising the teens. [Sometimes parents are home, but are up in their bedroom watching TV and are not aware of what's going on downsatirs.] On prom night, I called the limo company and restaurants and asked if alcohol would be served. My children were beyond mortified. Guess what. Many years later, I got some thanks-yous. First, from the other parents who said: “I’m so glad you checked things out.” Then, from my kids, who said: “When we saw how the other kids behaved in college, we were glad you raised us like you did.” So, hang tough. It pays off.

]]> Comment on Sometimes you need to have an awkward conversation by Debbie http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390518 Debbie Fri, 01 Mar 2013 11:35:28 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1443#comment-390518 I totally agree with the awkward conversation and that is my practice. I have not encountered the awkward silence or harsh reply yet. If that does happen, what do you do then. Do you require your child to leave the party immediately, do you go and pick up, do you trust that they will make the good choice and not partake? What do you do? I totally agree with the awkward conversation and that is my practice. I have not encountered the awkward silence or harsh reply yet. If that does happen, what do you do then. Do you require your child to leave the party immediately, do you go and pick up, do you trust that they will make the good choice and not partake? What do you do?

]]> Comment on It’s really great to be Santa by kathy hlavaty http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1430#comment-320995 kathy hlavaty Wed, 02 Jan 2013 01:15:27 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1430#comment-320995 and a very Happy Healthy and Peaceful New Year to you and your family. and a very Happy Healthy and Peaceful New Year to you and your family.

]]> Comment on It’s really great to be Santa by Rose Papa http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1430#comment-301198 Rose Papa Tue, 25 Dec 2012 17:46:03 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1430#comment-301198 Hope you have a great Christmas and New Year. Hope all your family will be together to share this time. If not, send our best to Michael, where ever he may be. Happy Holidays, The Papa Family Hope you have a great Christmas and New Year. Hope all your family will be together to share this time. If not, send our best to Michael, where ever he may be.

Happy Holidays, The Papa Family

]]> Comment on The Art of Appreciation by stevanne auerbach http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1403#comment-169382 stevanne auerbach Mon, 05 Nov 2012 11:02:54 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1403#comment-169382 HI Tina glad to hear that you and family are ok and that play, games and being together was important stay well and warm and safe Stevanne Dr Toy HI Tina
glad to hear that you and family are ok
and that play, games and being together was important
stay well and warm and safe
Stevanne Dr Toy

]]> Comment on Mom, you ought to be in pictures by kathy hlavaty http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1394#comment-120357 kathy hlavaty Tue, 16 Oct 2012 14:03:08 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1394#comment-120357 So true. I cherish the pictures of my Mom. She left us too soon. So true. I cherish the pictures of my Mom. She left us too soon.

]]> Comment on Mom, you ought to be in pictures by Phyllis http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1394#comment-114240 Phyllis Sun, 14 Oct 2012 01:52:34 +0000 http://parentalwisdom.com/blog/?p=1394#comment-114240 So very true....My Mom is turning 85 and is still beautiful to me! So very true….My Mom is turning 85 and is still beautiful to me!

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