As I read the article about the arrest of Melissa G. Dean, 33, Florida mother of 4 children ages 17, 16, 14 and 13 for leaving her children home alone, it quickly dawned on me that she was a child herself when she became a mother.
Even for those of us who waited until we felt ‘ready’ to have children, whatever ready means, I can’t imagine how challenging it is not only to be a teenage mother, but to be a teenage mother repeatedly.
Parents, please create a village for yourselves as a means of support. This job of parenting is too hard to do alone. We all need people to rely on and count on. For all of the daily parenting questions that arise, where you need to be your child’s advocate and not break any confidence, you can reach out to Parental Wisdom.
As Plato said, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Tags: children, Moms, parents, teenage mothers, village
First of all, let me begin by saying that I love my children dearly. My age was wrong in this article, I am 43 not 33. My first child was born when I was 26. I have been married once and divorced once. My marriage lasted 10 years. The reports have been grossly misrepresented as I did not abandon my children nor did I move out of the house. I simply told my children that “I was on strike” from being mistreated by them, which included being their maid, listening to the constant arguing and bickering between each other, and being argued with and disrespected as their mom. I don’t believe any mom deserves this kind of disrespect. I believe that there is a crisis in America. The majority of the upcoming generation is being raised by one-parent families who need to work many hours in order to provide reasonable economic support for those children. Unfortunately it is at the expense of the basic decent and moral values that not too long ago were instilled as necessary for good citizenship. My children are no exception. Actually I have control most of the time with my children however, I do have one child who is a challenge for our entire family. My goal in this “Strike” was to get my children to realize the value that I as their Mom and sole supporter brings to their lives. It worked. They have each come to realize that they have responsibilities to each other as family members and to themselves to be the best that they can be. I do not want these boys to disrespect adults, teachers, women, and especially their mother. I did not expect to have the national attention that our family has received from this incident, however, hopefully something good can come from this. Maybe other moms who are in similar situations can find some value in my experience. I never abandoned nor neglected my children. Far from it. I do not advocate that for one minute. However, I simply do believe that teens should be held to the expectation that they should respect their parents and their home.
Melissa,
Thanks for your clarification of this issue. There are truly two sides to every story. Hopefully, your children learned about respect and responsiblity as a result.
Back to my point. I hope your ‘village’ truly supports you.
All the best,
Tina Nocera
Founder, Parental Wisdom
Dear Ms. Dean: You have my respect and admiration for standing up for what is right. I searched your name out on the internet so I could write to you, and to others, to say so. 13 years old is certainly old enough to stay home alone, not to mention with older brothers. And I am wondering, with people who are critical of your methods, why do they not ask where the father is? You are forcing your boys to be without you for periods of time in order to help them grow into respectful men; apparently their father abandoned them forever. It is disappointing to me that no one is asking why he hasn’t taught the boys to respect you. I personally sent my 13 year old to live with his father because of his disrespect for me. He can come home anytime – as long as he is going to treat me with the respect with which I treat him! Good luck in your journey, and may you have some quiet time now and then. Deidre
I want to thank you for allowing me to enter comments on your site. I have found that there are not very many sites that are dedicated to helping parents to deal with teenage boys. Like everything else in life, I have discovered throughout the years that there are too many issues that are rarely addressed in public with respect to all the problems that we deal day in and out raising our kids. I for one need help. Since I have been having such a difficult time finding what I really need from the professionals, I have turned my efforts towards other parents with similar situations. For this I have created a personal blog (http://teenboysanddads.blogspot.com/) in which I share with many friends and family members all of what is going on in my relationship with my two teenage boys. Please feel free to come on in and read some of my stories and leave me comments, advice, and all wisdom is welcome.
Thank you, Dad.
not bad publication !!! bye
Interesting…
That is fantastic. Thanks for the link. A great idea for a book!
Thanks for the info, it actually is great for my current situation! I’ll be checking back soon
Wow! Thank you! always wantes to writw in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my blog?.