Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

The reason we don’t hang dirty laundry outside

Sunday, May 8th, 2016

“It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that.”

Judith Viorst

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there!

Being a mom is a 24/7, 365 days a year for the rest of your life kind of wonderful!

And you know this is true because of all the Facebook posts with smiles, flowers and hearts.

But let’s be honest.  Yes, it is wonderful and rewarding and all the positive talk, but not perfect.  Being a mom requires work and lessons and disappointment, but well worth the effort.

To the new moms out there…you are doing well.  Don’t let others’ happy pictures (including mine) lead you to believe that other moms have all good days.  We sometimes yell, and say bad things, and don’t always make homemade cupcakes or attend every baseball game.

But we do the best with what we have.  So the next time you see all smiles on Facebook, think about this:

We don’t hang our dirty laundry outside on the clothesline. 

Washing dirty clothes is simply part of the job, and we learn to put our kids in nice clean clothes for the outside world.  We all do the best we can!

Have a great week and a fabulous Mother’s Day!

 

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

 

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Being a good enough mom

Thursday, May 8th, 2014

If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much. – Jackie Kennedy

Just a short sweet note to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!

A few thoughts to share:

  •  It does take a village, but you need to build it.
  • The concepts of balance and multitasking are improbable, but keep trying anyway.
  • You are imperfect and so are your children.  But what you do every day is to love them unconditionally, and that is why they love you the next morning after a bad day; you taught them that.

For moms celebrating their first Mother’s Day and sadly for those who have celebrated their last Mother’s Day, just know that you are (were) amazing and have had a profound impact.  The world loves you for that.

What your children will remember are the hard times, the fun times and more than anything the wisdom you shared.  Don’t believe me?  Watch Kevin Durant’s tribute – spoiler alert, you will need tissues!

At the end of the day, your children love to talk about your missteps because they love it when the superhero messes up!

So rather than (more) tear jerking mom tributes, let’s laugh at some of our less than stellar moments.  I’ll go first:

When Noelle was around five, I would buy her tights that cost $7 a pair.  The good mom part of me encouraged her to go out and play outside, where she would promptly rip each and every pair.  My response was “Well, you’re going to start buying your own tights!”

In what universe can little kids buy their own clothes?  Please don’t leave me out here alone.  Share a story that your children would love to tell about you.

And if you need a last minute gift, here is an idea.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom® 

 

Posted in Moms, Relationships | No Comments »

Evaluating the Return on Investment of your mother

Sunday, May 5th, 2013

 

Children make your life important.

Erma Bombeck

Businesses use return on investment, or more commonly referred to as ROI, to evaluate the efficiency of an investment.  The return is based on tangible investments and benefits.  But how does one evaluate the benefits of someone as valuable as your mother?

Can you possibly imagine what your life would have been without her to teach you about life, to inspire you, encourage you, give you values, and do those hundreds of things every day that can easily be taken for granted?

If you had to hire a mom, the required skill set is overwhelming, and all first time moms come in to the role with no previous experience.  The job is 24/7, 365 for the rest of your life, and is often referred to as walking around with your heart outside your body.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day next week, let her put up her feet and give her a warm cup of coffee.  She deserves it!

To all you amazing moms out there, have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Do you want my advice? Not really

Sunday, May 13th, 2012

Are you Mom Enough?

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.”

 ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

February  1989: My  13-month old isn’t sleeping through the night and I’m pregnant with our second child.  I purchase Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber.   Three nights later and $15.95 out of pocket, I finish the book. 

Though Dr. Ferber has an MD and I’m only a mom this method does not feel right.  Clearly he had done research and I have not.  But the difference is that I care about my long term relationship with this child.  

Years later, I would use that moment of realization, that I am the expert in knowing my own child best, as the basis for a patent defense for Parental Wisdom®. 

If Time Magazine’s objective was to engage conversation and create controversary, they succeeded with their cover and story asking moms if they are ‘mom enough’.  

Great –what we needed just in time for Mother’s Day; another reason for self-doubt and guilt.

Nothing good is coming from that conversation.  But on page 9 in the very same magazine, was an article asking where moms have it worst, ranking 165 countries in categories including child nutrition, access to medical care and maternal mortality, which measures the likelihood of death due to childbirth and other motherhood-related causes.

Perhaps, because we care about the wrong things, the U.S. moms might have it the worst.

Change the conversation, and have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Posted in Family Friendly America, Moms, Parenting 101 | No Comments »

Winners in the Mom lottery

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

 

I received an email this week that I wanted to share with you.

Jennifer has been accepted in to the Masters program (text & performance) at “The Royal Academy of Arts” in London…I wanted to share this exciting news with you. From Annie Jr. to West Side Story most of you in some way have been instrumental in helping her grown as an artist. Collectively you were her first teachers, mentors, friends and fans and I for one am grateful to your contribution in her life…..needless to say I am a very proud mother.

The truth is that this mom had many proud moments prior to this accomplishment for her daughter. 

For any mom who is there for the ups and downs, the rehearsals, practices, lessons, auditions, endless driving, sitting in, and cheering from the stands, this P&G video is a tribute to the moms who have sacrificed so much to participate in the joy that is being a mom.

Congratulations Jennifer for your great achievement, and being one of the many winners I know in the mom lottery.

Happy Mother’s Day to you all

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Posted in Moms | 2 Comments »

Mom’s Job Description vs. Celebrity Mom’s Entourage

Friday, May 9th, 2008

We applaud as they sit on Oprah’s couch just weeks after giving birth back to their svelte bodies as they tell us how wonderful motherhood is. They are celebrity moms, and babies are the new ‘must have’ accessory.

The reason they are svelte and showered is because the adage ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ has a totally different meaning for celebrity moms. They gush about the joy of having children, as we somehow do without the personal trainer, nutritionist, dietician, stylist – and let’s not forget round-the-clock nannies, housekeepers and nurses that take care of the kids. We’re lucky if we get to use the bathroom alone.

We suffer from ‘momnesia’ where we lose our memories because so much attention is spent on the children. We’re putting a load of laundry in as we get dinner started, homework checked, schedule doctors visits, and fundraise for little league all of which begins after we get home from work. And Microsoft invented multi-tasking?

Our prizes are not awards and our outings are not on the red carpet where the paparazzi fights to take our pictures. But we forever have the mental images of the parks, games, concerts, school plays, graduations and family dinners as we’re blessed with the most wonderful gift – each other.

Remember, we’re in this together so the next time a three-year-old is having a meltdown at the checkout line at Target, ask the mom if she needs a hand. Let’s not judge each other’s choices about working or staying at home, or how we spend what little time we have. Just give a nod, a smile and sometimes an encouraging word – after all, we share the world’s greatest job title – Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Tina Nocera
Founder, Parental Wisdom

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Posted in Empathy, Moms, Popular culture | 46 Comments »

Mom on Strike

Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

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As I read the article about the arrest of Melissa G. Dean, 33, Florida mother of 4 children ages 17, 16, 14 and 13 for leaving her children home alone, it quickly dawned on me that she was a child herself when she became a mother.

Even for those of us who waited until we felt ‘ready’ to have children, whatever ready means, I can’t imagine how challenging it is not only to be a teenage mother, but to be a teenage mother repeatedly.

Parents, please create a village for yourselves as a means of support. This job of parenting is too hard to do alone. We all need people to rely on and count on. For all of the daily parenting questions that arise, where you need to be your child’s advocate and not break any confidence, you can reach out to Parental Wisdom.

As Plato said, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

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Posted in Empathy, Family Friendly America, Helping Families, Moms | 9 Comments »

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thursday, May 10th, 2007

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This mother’s day let’s salute and thank all the mom’s who continue to work at this job every day. Let’s go a step further and give them some help.

Husbands, give your wives understanding and support. Real men do change diapers. Some of the best presents are heartfelt expressions of love and appreciation for specific things she does.

Employers, recognize the fact that if you want a good future work force, it is the mothers of this country that will help you realize that goal. They can’t do that if they are working unrealistic hours, because they need to be with their children to be an influence on them. Be more creative. We get it that you goal is to be profitable. We can help you do that. Consider job sharing and flexible hours at every level in your organization. Two part time moms just might be more effective than one full time mom. Give new moms time to spend with their newborn babies, even encourage them to do so by making it possible with paid family leave.

Educators instead of telling parents what their children cannot do, tell them what their children can do. Parents do want to be part of their children’s education, but recognize that today’s family is different than previous generations. If parents aren’t coming into school for meetings and events, you might want think of inventive ways of communicating with them; possibly free conference call services that are available like Telejunctions.

Legislators listen to us, we know what we’re talking about. We are your mothers. Pay attention when we talk about curbing drunk driving and tighter gun laws. Stop talking about American Family Values and do something about it. Parents know what your legislators are doing visit and look up Paid Leave Activity in Other States and be sure to read the report on balancing work and family which proves why paid family leave makes sense.

Moms give other moms encouragement and when possible, the gift of time.

Children, what mothers want most for mother’s day is for you to be healthy and happy. But there are also some great mom coupons that you can make up. Here are a few ideas, breakfast in bed, cleaning up your room without being asked, taking the dog out, taking out the garbage, and anything else that requires taking out. Be imaginative and look around at the things your mom does and help her do it. You’ll find coupon templates under free reports on Parental Wisdom.

Happy Mothers’ Day and have a great weekend, especially to all you wonderful moms out there. I’ll talk to you on Monday. Leave a comment after the beep or post a comment on the PW blog.

This message can also be heard on the Parental Wisdom Daily Inspirational Call Line – (641) 985-5999 ext. 24290#

Posted in Daily Inspirational Call, Family Friendly America, Helping Families, Moms | 6 Comments »

Mom’s the Word

Monday, May 7th, 2007

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Since 1872, the second Sunday of May has been the national observance of Mother’s Day. I’m bringing this subject up on Monday and not waiting until Friday which is too late for you to think about it.

If you forget to pick up groceries on the way home, not good but forgivable. If you forgot to feed the dog, not bad enough for you to end up in the doghouse, but if you forget mother’s day and I can assure you there won’t be a large enough place for you to hide.

According to Dr. John Gray author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, we are from different planets, but let me help you to understand what it is that mothers do.

As you know, there is no job description for the role, but I’ve taken the liberty of putting something together defining 141 roles. You can get a complete copy by visiting Parental Wisdom – Free Reports and print out your own copy of Mom’s Job Description.

The job of a mom is interesting in the sense that you hope that what you do not only enriches your life, but the life of others as well. Current research, much of it contradictory leaves us with a constant nagging sense of guilt and doubt. But we’re smarter than that. You know you’re doing ok, just look at your child.

A young mom I know was feeling uncertain as we all do from time to time thinking she wasn’t doing a good enough job. She and her little three-year old daughter were in the food market when someone accidentally cut the little girl off from her mother not realizing they were together.

In her most polite, but assertive big girl voice she said, “Excuse me miss, but I need to get to my mom.” The woman realizing what happened immediately moved her shopping cart and looked up at the mom and gave her a very assuring smile. The mom felt good and realized that in the behavior of her very polite little girl, maybe she is making a difference.

Unlike other jobs where you get you raises, reviews, promotions, benefits and vacations, this is a job where you have to find your own rewards. Keep your eyes open because they’re there every day. The sticky wet kisses on the playground, the toothless smiles from the stage of the spring musicale, the high fives when he rounds third base or the teenager that still talks to you. And yes, polite little three-year-old girls.

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