Archive for February, 2010

Simon is usally right

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

In an earlier post, American Idol and Microwaves, I wrote about the rudeness, rejection and harsh criticism contestants face especially from Simon Cowell.

The truth is that I usually have the same opinion as Simon before I even hear what he has to say, and I have as much ability to judge as Ellen Degeneres.

The point of that post and why it is resurfacing is because despite what anyone says, you have to believe in yourself.  I just read a quote from Lada Gaga which is part of her upcoming interview in Cosmopolitan magazine that is worth sharing:

“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the f***ing deli without hearing or seeing me.’”

All I can say is – you go Gaga!

Temple Grandin, PH. D.

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Kudos to HBO for presenting  Temple Grandin.

Not only was the movie was uplifting and interesting, but I felt something that doesn’t often happen with most shows; I was left wanting more.

Fortunately I found the real Temple Grandin as she presented a lecture at TED.  Ted is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading.  TED started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design.

Click here to see her presentation video. Temple Grandin at TED 2010 We need all kinds of minds

When are we finished parenting?

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

A few years ago when I was creating Parental Wisdom, a few very smart people posed a question.

  • Them – “Who is your target market?”
  • Me – “Parents.”
  • Them – “That is the dumbest answer I ever heard.”
  • Me – “But I just don’t think you’re ever done parenting.”

Fast forward a few years and if you look at the sample question and answers and you’ll find categories entitled  college age children and adult children.  Turns out, you aren’t ever done parenting to respond to the subject line of this message.

Funny, but I just heard a commercial for a new movie out called Brooklyn’s Finest (since I’m originally from Brooklyn it got my attention).  In the trailer, the veteran cop says to the rookie, “You got 20 years of days. This job takes enough out of you”

I suppose we do our first 20 years of parenting in days too. Enjoy every day.

Parental Wisdom is in the running for a $50,000 grant from Pepsi to promote and provide parenting lectures.  Great if you voted for us!

Please hurry as the deadline is February 28th.  And do share with your friends and family.

All the best ,

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom

If Momma’s Not Happy…Nobody’s Happy

Monday, February 15th, 2010

To my friends at Melandre

Who knew there was such a wonderful oasis practically in my backyard!  I just experienced Sulis, a magnificent new day spa.

The first thing I noticed was the lovely and relaxing décor; the attention to detail and touches makes it very easy to forget you are still in Nutley!

From the luxurious robes to the warm colors and accents including herbal teas, the tranquility room, and soothing shower create a wonderful retreat from work and children.

Then of course, I had my superb facial with Collette which was the best part of all.   I rarely blog about personal experiences, but  I had to write about this one.

Hope the title helps husbands or boyfriends understand the reference which should translate to gift cards!

Good luck to you and your staff on this brilliant addition to an already outstanding salon.

Through rain or sleet or snow…

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010
Despite inclement weather, I can count on getting my mail.  This reminds me of the quote made famous by Woody Allen, “80% of success is showing up.”

But is it?
I get my mail, but I also get everyone else’s mail and assume they get mine as well.
No, it isn’t enough to show up – you have to get it right.
In parenting, it’s not just about being there; it’s about being present which is very different from just being there.
  • Are you engaged in discussion?
  • Are you interested?
  • Are you having fun…yet?
When your children grow up, what kind of home will they say you had?
  • Are you the yellers?
  • Are you the ignorers?
  • Are you not there at all?
  • Are you the fun family?
A country has a flag; and a company has a mission statement.  What will they say about your home?  You get to choose the kind of family you are.
How about we all make snow angels and have a cup of cocoa?

Have a great day!
Tina Nocera, Founder

Too much reliance on my GPS

Thursday, February 4th, 2010
I’ve been used to my GPS constantly correcting me and requesting that I make a legal U-turn when possible; but the other day it simply didn’t work.  There I was, left to fend for myself.
Quite frankly I am directionally challenged, and not able to look at a map and figure out where I am or where I’m headed. At that point I realized how much dependency I put on the GPS, and now it failed me.  In reality I failed myself by not having enough of a foundation to figure things out.  I realized that without the GPS, I was lost.
There isn’t any difference in the world of parenting.  Our job is to give our children a good foundation, but it’s the confidence they build in handling situations that creates one of life’s most important characteristics; self reliance.  Much like me without the GPS, your children will be lost without self-reliance.
Think about how we teach children to ride a two-wheeler.  You put the training wheels on and then kept loosening them up little by little until they are confident enough to take the ride without any training wheels at all.
p.s. Great hint – -when you’re running along side the bike, it’s a great idea for you to be in rollerblades.  It makes the job so much easier!
Here are some ways to make sure that you’re heading in the right direction in teaching self-reliance (no pun intended):
  1. Let the kids make some decisions as early as possible.  So what if they’re wearing stripes and polka-dots?
  2. Demonstrate that you are always solving little problems and learning along the way.  Aren’t you?  After all, who figured out how to install the new TV?
  3. Move from being ‘the all wise and powerful’ mom or dad to a coach.  Tell them less about how they should do something, and instead raise questions they could answer for themselves.  “Why do you think your friends responded that way?”
  4. Be a great support system.  They might need your encouragement to try again, or a little harder, or in taking a slightly different approach.  If they come to you for permission to give up, don’t make it so easy for them.
  5. Responsibilities are very important for building self reliance.  Even with very young children, assign chores that make them part of a family that works together.  For example, for a child as young as age 3, take digital pictures of them making their bed; 1) put the pillow in place, 2) smooth the sheets and lift the blankets, and 3) lift and smooth out the comforter.  Laminate the pictures and put them near the bed so they can see how well they did.
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