Archive for March, 2010

Before you gossip, ask these three questions

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

I recently read a story by the Associated Press, “There’s been a sharp drop in the percentage of America’s children being bullied or beaten up by their peers, according to a new national survey by experts who believe anti-bullying programs are having an impact.”

Did the study take cyber bullying into account?

Not if you ask the family of Alexis Pilkington, the Suffolk County 17-year old girl that recently took her life.  Cyber bullies left cruel and hurtful messages on her Facebook Memorial Page.

As the courts try to sort through first amendment rights and what constitutes defamation, there might be a better solution; one that has stood the test of time.

“Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?”

This simple yet elegant quote is from the nineteenth century guru Sai Baba. It helps us to understand the importance of mindful speech.  We’re uncomfortable with silence, so we fill the void with words.  But those words can be hurtful and painful whether in person or cyberspace.

If you would like to learn more about dealing with cyber bullying watch this video from Free Spirit Publishing.

Teaching our children to use the triple filter questioning method ‘is it kind, is it necessary, is it true’ might not stop them from being a victim, but it will stop them from being the bully.

If we all did that it could result in something really remarkable.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera
Founder, Parental Wisdom®