You’ve got to be carefully taught

You’ve got to be carefully taught

-from the1949 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific

There is a connection about two stories coming from New Jersey recently; both interestingly, relate to Facebook.

On technology’s positive side, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg donates $100 million dollars to Newark schools.  Weeks later, the Facebook status of Rutgers Freshman Tyler Clementi’s is “jumping off the bridge sorry.”

Adolescent brains cannot possibly evolve as quickly as the technology at their fingertips.  They don’t understand the power though they marvel at the audience reach.

Both stories tie back to parents and what is taught at home.

The Newark school system presently spends $24,000 a year per student, yet only one in two graduate high school.   By adding $100 million are we throwing money at the wrong problem?  The best teachers and state of the art technology in the classrooms cannot offset what happens at home if a child’s education is not made a priority and reinforced.

In the case of Rutgers’s cyber cruelty, Dharun Ravi or Molly Wei could not have imagined a tragedy like this, but what was their intention, to be funny or to entertain?  Compared to the failing Newark school system, these students both had terrific grades and SAT scores indicating that education was indeed important at home.  But how do they measure up in other qualities, such as tolerance, understanding and empathy?

The unwritten rule of parenting is that you don’t talk about someone’s child because you are really talking about someone’s parenting.  I get that, and the fact that parents can’t be everywhere, and anybody’s child is potentially going to make mistakes.

But there are answers if you take the time to understand the real problem.

One place to help understand the real problem is Parental Wisdom® which offers something you can’t get anywhere else.  Multiple expert responses to parenting questions so you can choose the best solution for your unique child and situation.  When you are present as a parent and notice something wrong, the time to correct it is before it unravels out of control.

Our advisors donate their time and talent to respond to parents’ questions.  We are writing a collaborative book to help parents focus on the kind of person they want to raise.  Parental Wisdom® members will receive a free copy of this e-book that offers a proactive approach to raising a person you would love to meet.

For the present problem, here are a few solutions that can help you and your child deal with cyber-bullying, whether they are the victim or the bully, and to help you as a parent understand this frightening new world.

Jill Brown – It’s My Locker

Barbara Gilmour – Cool Kind Kid

Naomi Drew – Learning Peace author of No Kidding About Bullying

We are evaluating all these works for the Good ParentingCM Seal.  Please complete the contact us form if you would like to participate in the evaluation (you must be a member), and be sure to enter your phone number and time zone.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -Mother Teresa

Have a great week, and be sure to talk with your children about this important topic

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

4 Responses to “You’ve got to be carefully taught”

  1. Una Cape says:

    I am new to blogging, so I feel like I am in the “just taking notes” phase. But when I do find a blog topic I like, I do comment because I genuinely like what has been said or the information was helpful to me. I am officially linked to your blog now, so I will be checking in often! Thanks for all the great advice.

  2. Jackie AGT says:

    You really know how to grab people attention because when I started to read I wanted to know what will be in the end.

  3. Margarita says:

    Great blog post…one thing that I want to bring up is the parents of the young Rutgers freshman…..why would he feel the need to go to such drastic measures? The thought that crossed my mind is that there was so much more going on with him as well. The actions of his classmates is inexcusable and horrible but that couldn’t be the only reason that made him take his own life. It seemed as if that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. What was going on with him and at home?

  4. Nice post, I gonna bookmark this page. thanks for info

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