When asked how he went about his work, the great artist Michelangleo said that if given a block of stone and asked to carve an angel, he would simply take his hammer and chisel and carve away anything that didn’t look like an angel.
That is an interesting perspective we can use when raising children. What if we could chip away at the behaviors we didn’t want our children to have. Instead, what if we helped to shape the positive behaviors we wanted our children to exhibit? Better yet, what if we focused on raising the kind of a person we want our children to become? Just imagine that you have clay and were able to mold your child.
You have to agree that despite all the outside influences, you are still the greatest influence. I know it is really tough work to raise a child, but think of it this way. It is easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult.
Taking it a step further, think about the kind of a family and home you want? Growing up you must remember different kinds of families. There was the fun family, the yellers, and there was the family whose home was like a museum, where everything was covered in plastic and roped off. Did you ever wonder how that happens? You’re in charge now and you get to choose. But we have to do that consciously and figure out what kind of a family you want.
It begins with a definition of family, which can simply be defined as people loving and caring for one another, no matter where they live or with whom they live. It is helpful to associate language around what you believe, for example, “We are a family that loves each other unconditionally, and encourages differing opinions but always respects one another. We are a family that loves to spend time together having fun.” Make it up – but make it happen. In the case of blended families, this becomes even more important. Consider what happens with a merger and acquisition – two companies come together which is exactly what a blended family is.
Something to think about.
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