Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

The imperfect perfect family

Tuesday, November 28th, 2017

norman

 

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” Friedrich Nietzsche

The problem with Facebook is that you believe what you see.

The photo of the perfect table setting, golden brown turkey, and what appears to be well behaved children.

It’s not real.  

Families, on the other hand, are very real – imperfections and all.

We survived Thanksgiving and are heading into Christmas, which has considerably more stress.  Before you go down that rabbit hole, think more about how to have less stress.

If the person matters to you, and you can’t think of something they need (honestly, do any of us need anything?) then spend time with them.

My grandson is teaching me that a game of hide and seek is just about all a person needs to be happy.

Back to the imperfect families – despite miscommunications and mistakes you are still better off having them in your life than not.

Now back to decorating….

Tina Nocera

Founder, Parental Wisdom®

How can we stop the clock?

Sunday, July 30th, 2017

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

The circle of life is profound. There is a great similarity to parents caring for young children, and adult children as caretakers for aging parents.

The difference is where little children promise growth and potential, aging parents are about loss of capacity and decline.

Still, there is an incredible connection when young and old are together, representing an almost unspoken bond.

Both need to feel they are in control, whether it is the clothes they wear, food they eat, or when they go to bed.

Naps are a necessity!

Little children love to hear the same stories over and over again, while aging parents love to tell the same stories over and over again. The storytellers and listeners must maintain a consistent level of enthusiasm.

Perhaps the elders tell their stories over and over because they are afraid the lull in the conversation means the call or visit is over.

Perhaps children ask you to tell the same story over and over again, because they just love being with you, and don’t want it to end.

Both groups need your help with you everyday tasks; one is learning for the first time, while the other has forgotten.

There will come a time you will wish you were more patient, and you could turn back the clock and pay attention to little people or the elders that mean everything to you.

We haven’t found a way to stop the clock, so find moments to celebrate and laugh, and enjoy how wonderful it is to be needed.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

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Food fixes everything, especially problems with society

Sunday, October 30th, 2016

 

If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one. Mother Teresa

If you’re like me, you want to disconnect from all election news.

Why do we hang our hopes on a leader for societal improvements?   Are we going to have these same conversations four years from now? Eight years from now?

What if the changes were easier than we thought, and we don’t need to wait for anyone?

I believe we can, and change simply begins with food.

Think about when you are happy?   It usually involves, family, friends and food, and connecting with each other around the table. It so happens there are grass movements (ha ha literally!) going on in the country to make sure everyone has access to healthy food.

  1. It begins with school gardens, community gardens, and rooftop gardens.
  2. It’s as simple as making sure a child has a good breakfast before school.
  3. It’s as real as a billionaire believing in chickens.

These powerful movements can grow with a single seed.  What do you say we each plant one?

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

What are we trying to accomplish?

Sunday, January 31st, 2016

einstein

It happened again. 

The other evening we are at a restaurant.  A family of four enters; the two little boys don’t even glance up from their cell phones as they are being seated. Shortly after orders are placed, the parents join the independent activity on their cell phones.

Yes, times are different but what hasn’t changed is the invaluable connection to the most important people in our lives.  As Einstein fears, are we at the stage where technology is surpassing human interaction?

  • How will our children learn they are part of a family that matters more than anything else?
  • How will they come to know the wonder and craziness of extended family if they don’t listen to the rich family stories?
  • How do parents teach values if children are listening to what is deemed newsworthy by popular culture?

When It Comes to Infant Language Development, Not All Toys Are Created Equal.

Parents – you are the perfect toy!

Of all the changes we would love to make in society but can’t – this one is completely in your control.

Please forgive me if I’m not impressed that your one-year-old knows how to swipe an iPad.  It would be so much better if they know how to turn the page of a book.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

What do you want for Christmas?

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

everett

Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.

Yoda to Obi-Wan about the purity of innocence and the insights that can be gleamed from listening to fresh ideas. – Episode II: Attack of the Clones

While wrapping my gifts I noticed empty paper cardboard rolls and ribbon spools.  Rather than toss them out, I looked at them differently; almost as if they would be treated as treasures for children with wonderful imaginations.

My thinking was heightened as I had recently spent time with such a little boy.  He seemed to be able to make a game out of any object, and included adults as part of the game.  That gave him time to get to know and appreciate us. When we left his house, he turned and said, “I want to give you one more hug.” I thought how priceless it is for family to hear that from a child.

I suspect that was largely due to the creative freedom he had to make up his own games.  Since he was a four-year-old boy, naturally the games involved a lot of physical movement.  But that might be why he was so happy.  I remember an interview a number of years ago with Dr. Vicki who talked about little boys and anger.  Please listen to her complete broadcast on dealing with anger, but the message is that little children, especially boys, need to move and play.  If they don’t have such opportunities, their pent up energy is displaced as irritability and anger.

When buying your children presents for Christmas, remember that playing with them makes the game so much better and far more memorable.

See how these toys from the past 100 years jar your memory.

During this holiday season, remember it’s more than the gift or the toy.  Be part of the fun and include extended family as well. The time you play with them is what the kids will remember.

Merry Christmas

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Kwanzaa

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

Family – How to Raise a Child You Want to Meet in 25 Years

Sunday, July 5th, 2015

Family is the most important thing in the world.

Princess Diana

As made famous in the Monty Python catchphrase…’now for something completely different’ I’m sharing a video rather than simply a blog post on this week’s topic – Family.

Presenting in a video format feels a little more personal, though I’ll continue to provide helpful information to support the topic throughout the week on Facebook and Twitter.

When asked, “What is the most important thing in your life,” people will respond without a moment’s hesitation – my family, though our actions may not be as obvious as our intentions.

Here are some thought starters on demonstrating the importance of family:

  • When you were growing up, you had a sense of different kinds of families you visited
  • Now that you are the head of your household, what do you want your children to remember about growing up in their home?
    • Ask them what kind of a family they want to be
    • They can even create a family crest
    • By defining your family, you stand together

This week, please look for Parental Wisdom’s Facebook post and Twitter feed on the kinds of things families can do together.

  1. Monday, July 6th – Coolest Roadside attractions in every state
  2. Tuesday, July 7th – Top 10 Sports Halls of Fame in U.S
  3. Wednesday, July 8th – Fun Activities that create memories
  4. Thursday, July 9th – Cooking with kids
  5. Friday, July 10th – Fun ways to read with your child

As always, feel free to add your own great ideas, because after all, we are all in this together.

Enjoy and have a great week!

 

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

#valueoftheweek

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Believing in Magic Beans

Saturday, August 30th, 2014

How can the concept of magic beans help our children to be successful in the new school year?

For magic beans to work, you need two things:

  1. Believing in the impossible
  2. Adding a little water

For your child to be successful in the new school year you also need two things:

  1. Belief in their ability to something extraordinary
  2. Adding a little work

I believe in magic beans, and the picture above is proof.

The plant in the picture came from a clipping of a plant originally cared for by my mother-in-law.  Though Nana Doris passed away in 1982 before our children were born, we frequently told them stories about her, and every holiday make our special Nana Doris string beans.

We took the clipping about ten years ago when we helped my father-in-law move out of the house into an apartment, even though the original plant had not grown.

The results speak for themselves.  All we did was:

  1. Believe in family and the love that is always present
  2. Add a little water

How could you not believe in magic beans?

If your children need inspiration, visit my product page on inspiration.  

 

 

Have a wonderful last fling with summer, and a great school year!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom® 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The beauty of a hug

Monday, November 18th, 2013

 

 

Most likely you have seen the news clips…a soldier returns from combat to his surprised family as you reach for the tissues.

Let me share what is like when hundreds of soldiers return to their families when the element of surprise is removed.  The Army band plays as the large screen projects images of the soldiers while they were away and the picture the soldiers received of their families back home.  Homemade welcome home posters can be seen in the stands and little children wearing My Dad is Home t-shirts run around Veterans handing out flags.

Months of anticipation and worry brought us all to this day.  In the crowd, moms hold babies born after deployment and toddlers too little to know let alone remember their deployed parent.  If parenting is tough with two parents, how difficult is it when one parent is unreachable and in combat?  But what the families have been through is nothing compared to what these soldiers have been through.

Then the greatest sound in the world…the siren of police escorts as the buses arrive.  The soldiers march in formation as the band plays. The Chaplin says a prayer of gratitude for their safe return; the commander thanks the soldiers for their service in what could be the shortest speech in history.  The families are waiting for his closing statement which is…find your soldier!

The best pictures are the ones not taken because we are all so focused on the joy of the moment that no one cares about taking pictures.

And you realize the only gift that matters is a hug.  So much to be thankful for!

Enjoy the holiday season.

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Art of Appreciation

Sunday, November 4th, 2012

It’s been said that every cloud has a silver lining. That is true even with a storm as devastating as Hurricane Sandy

Sometimes it takes a loss for us to appreciate what we already have and what is really important; the safety of those we love and the simple comforts of home. 

This past week, families with no electricity found light in the darkness. Calm from the storm came in the form of uninterrupted time and doing things together like playing board games, cards, reading or telling stories by candlelight.  The game of life took on a very real form.

Many spent their time giving what little they could to those worse off.  I suppose for many Thanksgiving came a little early. 

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.   -John F. Kennedy

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

How technology may save families

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

They solemnly sat in the first row of St. Paul’s Greek Orthodox Church.  I didn’t know who they were, but understood the person memorialized was very important to them.  At the end of the service two young women and six young men were the pallbearers for their Yiayia.

I met them at the luncheon following the burial. They were the exact opposite of the adult children mentioned in a recent blog.  They were bright lights, confident and connected to each other.  But sadly because they lived so far away, my family doesn’t know them at all.

Today, twenty and thirty year-olds grow up understanding that moving away is a fact of life, while I grew up in a world where most of my family lived within walking distance.   The boomers who are now grandparents are on Skype, Facebook and Facetime on a regular basis to create a connection with their grandchildren that has to suffice between visits and hugs.

Perhaps the next version of Facebook will include a way to smell Sunday dinner.  Until then it’s a great way to watch a video of an older sibling making a new baby brother laugh, first steps, hockey games, or the school play.

I think the thing I enjoyed best about watching them yesterday was that the cell phones only came out at the very last minute for pictures. They spent the whole time connecting the old fashioned way…they talked to each other.

Nice meeting all of you! May our next meeting be at a family reunion.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®