Archive for the ‘Patience’ Category

How can we stop the clock?

Sunday, July 30th, 2017

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

The circle of life is profound. There is a great similarity to parents caring for young children, and adult children as caretakers for aging parents.

The difference is where little children promise growth and potential, aging parents are about loss of capacity and decline.

Still, there is an incredible connection when young and old are together, representing an almost unspoken bond.

Both need to feel they are in control, whether it is the clothes they wear, food they eat, or when they go to bed.

Naps are a necessity!

Little children love to hear the same stories over and over again, while aging parents love to tell the same stories over and over again. The storytellers and listeners must maintain a consistent level of enthusiasm.

Perhaps the elders tell their stories over and over because they are afraid the lull in the conversation means the call or visit is over.

Perhaps children ask you to tell the same story over and over again, because they just love being with you, and don’t want it to end.

Both groups need your help with you everyday tasks; one is learning for the first time, while the other has forgotten.

There will come a time you will wish you were more patient, and you could turn back the clock and pay attention to little people or the elders that mean everything to you.

We haven’t found a way to stop the clock, so find moments to celebrate and laugh, and enjoy how wonderful it is to be needed.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Follow me on Facebook 

How do you ask?

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

“The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.”  -Fred Astaire

Visit a household with young children and you’re likely to hear a parent saying, “How do you ask?” which of course is the age old lesson in the use of the magic words, please and thank you.

This week, I again find myself out on a limb, assuming the parents of the Jet Blue flight attendant and woman passenger that fueled his behavior took the same approach when their kids were little.

If that’s true, then what happened?

  1. Are our fuses shorter than ever?
  2. Is technology causing life to move so fast we don’t have time to be courteous?
  3. As we witness bad behavior, do we allow it, excuse it, and even encourage more of it?

What happened is more than simply reinforcing manners; it is also an opportunity for business.  Since the time they were little, I’ve pointed out to my children that if they aren’t treated in a courteous manner, they have the greatest power in the world – they can go somewhere else with their money.

If the woman passenger had done that, we wouldn’t have been reading about it at all.   Everything is a lesson, isn’t it?

Be sure to visit Parental Wisdom’s advisor Barbara Gilmour’s website Tanners Manners.

Extra credit – ask any employer and they will tell you that in this tough job market or any job market – manners count!

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

If you would like to hear this blog broadcast, click manners.

The Chinese Bamboo Story – A Lesson in Patience

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

We have access to instant information, music and books. We buy fast food through the drive-thru. We beep at the car in front of us as soon as the light turns green. Resolutions to problems or relationships are expected instantly.

We want to see immediate results related to the turnaround of our economy, despite the fact that it took years to get to this state. We enter foreign countries and expect to immediately change their culture. If a CEO is put in place and doesn’t demonstrate an immediate turn-around, they take a walk through the revolving door and someone new is put in place. Unfortunately, we try to live our fast paced lifestyle in what is naturally a slow paced world.

A good lesson on this subject is the story of the Chinese Bamboo Tree.

It seems that this tree when planted, watered, and nurtured for an entire growing season doesn’t outwardly grow as much as an inch. Then, after the second growing season, a season in which the farmer takes extra care to water, fertilize and care for the bamboo tree, the tree still hasn’t sprouted. So it goes as the sun rises and sets for four solid years. The farmer has nothing tangible to show for all of his labor trying to grow the tree.

Then, along comes year five.

In the fifth year that Chinese bamboo tree seed finally sprouts and the bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet in just one growing season! Or so it seems….

Did the little tree lie dormant for four years only to grow exponentially in the fifth? Or, was the little tree growing underground, developing a root system strong enough to support its potential for outward growth in the fifth year and beyond? The answer is, of course, obvious. Had the tree not developed a strong unseen foundation it could not have sustained its life as it grew.

The same is true for our children.

Parents, who patiently work in teaching their children values and build strong character while overcoming adversity and challenge, grow a strong internal foundation. Had the Chinese bamboo farmer dug up his little seed every year to see if it was growing, he would have stunted the tree’s growth. We ask our little children to sit still and have patience. Much better lesson if we’re demonstrating that behavior.

Here is a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that is as true today as it was when he wrote it over 100 years ago:

“The heights by great men reached and kept
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Toiled ever upward through the night.”

Have a wonderful Christmas!
Tina Nocera, Founder
Parental Wisdom®