“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward
As the second in our series, this week’s focus will be on gratitude. According to Cicero, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.” Interesting that in America we have a holiday dedicated to being thankful. Does that imply that all other days we are not? With all values, our goal is to form a habit.
Geoffrey James explains gratitude as, “an emotional muscle,” one should use so it is strengthened. People who approach life with a sense of gratitude are constantly aware of what is wonderful in each day, and take nothing for granted. They take time to see a child’s smile, acknowledge a stranger’s kindness or appreciate the cool summer wind.
This TED Talk by Louie Schwartzberg called, Nature. Beauty. Gratitude. is the most beautiful presentation on gratitude that I have ever seen. Sharing this is my gift to you because it will change the way you think, and what you may have been taking for granted.
As always, we model the behavior we want to see in our children. Though we intend to express gratitude, too often we put our daily tasks at the top of our list, and may simply run out of time.
What we can do right now to change our behavior:
- Be present; don’t let the busyness of life make us stressed
- Appreciate the people in our lives; possibly sending a letter of gratitude each week
- Give at least one compliment daily, and say thank you often
- Work on a cause for the greater good
- Keep a gratitude journal
What this does for us:
- Gratitude makes us happier
- It puts situations into perspective. When we can see the good as well as the bad, it becomes more difficult to complain and stay stuck
- Gratitude reduces envy
- It helps us realize what we have, and lessen our need for wanting more all the time.
- Gratitude strengthens relationships, deepens our friendships, and makes us less self-centered
How we can create an attitude of gratitude for our children:
- For babies
- Obviously they can’t do very much, but you can! One mom made her very own thank you notes with the baby’s handprint.
- Babies learn language at an incredible rate; so use the words ‘thank you’ often.
- The preschool years
- Create a thank you card with their picture on it and ask the child what they liked about the gift, including their words in the note. If they don’t like the gift, explain the gift givers consideration and thought in selecting it. You could say, “Grandma, loves you so much, she carefully picked out this sweater. It makes her happy to do nice things, and we should thank her for such thoughtfulness.”
This can be reinforced when your child makes gifts for family. “See how happy Grandma was to get the macaroni picture!” Ask them how it made them feel to see Grandma’s smile when she received it, and explain that is how Grandma felt choosing the sweater. This reinforces empathy.
- Every evening, ask your child to share the three best things that happened today.
- Elementary School
- Again, great idea to create a child’s very own stationary. Consider putting all the supplies (cards, pens, and stamps, return address labels), which you can make also, in a plastic box with their name on it. Quality over quantity – even a one-line thank you is great.
- As they develop writing skills, have them create a gratitude jar.
- Leave sticky notes out so family members can thank each other. You can include a sticky note in their lunch box to thank them for being ready to leave the house on time.
- Middle School
- Think past notes and have your child call or even create a video.
- Encourage them to help without being asked at least once a day, and ask them to share what that was and how they felt.
- Create a gratitude picture board that could include family, friends, pets, and pictures of nature.
- High School
- By this time, they need to own ways they show gratitude.
- At the end of the school year, ask them which teacher made a difference and encourage them to send a hand written note.
- Donate time to help your school, church or a local shelter.
I am thankful to each person that reads and comments on these posts. Be sure to like Parental Wisdom’s Facebook page and share stories where your child demonstrated gratitude. We’d love to hear from you, because we are all in this together!
Thanks and have a great week!
Tina Nocera, Mom & Founder
Parental Wisdom®
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