So how are you doing?

“So how am I doing?”

That was a frequent question posed by Ed Koch, the popular three-term New York City Mayor.

As a parent even though that is such a great question, how do you know how you’re doing?

I have never been of the mindset that straight A’s are the barometer, yet when you meet someone and ask about the kids that is the answer you’ll most likely get.  The reason this is top of mind is that we’re in the midst of college and high school graduations where these measures seem to matter.

But then I think about all the friends and family that are having babies and I wonder as they hold their beautiful little newborns, do they think about the kind of person they will raise?

What if you met your little tiny baby 25 years from now – what kind of a person would you like to meet?  What qualities should that child possess?  Even more interesting what if you could reverse engineer that child and focus on the qualities that you feel matter?

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo

The Parental Wisdom advisory group will be writing a collaborative work on this subject.  Each of us will write about a specific quality and the book (yet untitled) will not be sold, but will be given away to all our members.  I invite you to send me a note with the qualities you feel matter in our efforts to raise good people.  As an example, you might consider self-reliance, empathy, confidence, fun-loving, etc., though I am not trying to limit your thoughts in any way.

Please send your emails to my by Monday, May 31st – we are very excited about this work.

p.s. my bumper sticker says Proud Parent of a Good Person – I’m happy to send you one.  Just make sure your mailing address is up to date (you must be a Parental Wisdom member) just login and check your profile.  Drop me a note and I’ll put one in the mail.

11 Responses to “So how are you doing?”

  1. Helen Myers says:

    I would like my children to be patient, respectful, empathetic. I would like them to see the good in individuals, volunteer to help others and find the passion in their life’s endeavors that will bring them joy. And realize early in life, that money is not necessary to being happy.

  2. Arlene says:

    I thought hard about this question. My son failed his first semester at college and has not returned to school. That was almost two years ago. He has had hit and miss jobs sincethen and is still searching for his niche’ in life. Recently, my 81 year old mom prepared for a move from her apt of 40 years to a senior living facility. The son who I thought didn’t care about much other than getting drunk, playing video games and sleeping, surprised me. He made sure he helped her pack everyday. Called all his friends to move her tattered funiture to her new place and made sure everything was just right for her in her new apt. “Respect and admiration for the elderly,” would be my answer.

  3. I am probably older than many of you and have grandchildren, so my thoughts on this might be quite different than some. But, I always remembered my mother instilling in the 3 of us (all girls), the importance of respect for everyone, and the social skills training that taught us how to show that respect. Of course, there were many other important values, like doing your best, taking responsibility for your actions, belief in a deity, and even getting a good education, to name just a few. The good education wasn’t solely so we could have more, but so that we could share more.

    Those are the same things I tried to instill in my own two daughters. Though my girls balked at “manners” lessons; I see how they act with others and how they are raising my grandchildren, and I know these were important things for them to learn to be able to pass on to their kids.

    Fast forward to my mid-fifties and I find such a serious need for those social skills that I always took for granted. So much of what we do each day, no matter where we are, involves interacting with other people. How we do that kindly, caringly, and respectfully has to be taught and modeled. Many of the character values and traits we want to see in our children and grandchildren can be taught through simple social skills. No longer just about eating without grossing others out, social skills are the basis for positive interaction with everyone and in every situation. They are essential to securing our kids’ successful futures.

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  7. […] an earlier post entitled “So How Am I Doing?” I mentioned Parental Wisdom® advisors are working together to write a book on raising children […]

  8. Kaila Babeu says:

    I’m not so convinced but nice share.

  9. parentalwisdom says:

    This is a test.

  10. Hip Hop says:

    I agree with some of the other posters about this data.

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