Hugging your family is neither a strategy nor a solution

We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. – Unknown

This past week I placed two consecutive online orders for graphics software.  The first order went through with no problem, but the second purchase required that I contact the credit card company to confirm that I was indeed the cardholder.  Both combined purchases were under $100.  Credit card companies use sophisticated algorithms and business intelligence to stop potentially fraudulent purchases.

But in the past 60 days, James Eagan Holmes bought more than 6,000 rounds of ammunition and four guns including an AR 15 assault rifle at gun shops and over the Internet. 

How is it that something as simple as a minor credit card purchase can raise immediate questions, while the purchase of that much ammunition and an assault rifle didn’t raise any red flags? 

Also this week, marked the passing of Dr. Steven R. Covey, author of the The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People®.  Habit #4 is win-win which sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying.

That comes into play when you think about our challenges with gun control; they don’t have to be win-lose. In win-lose Covey suggests, life becomes a sum-zero game.  I paraphrase the NRA when they say they don’t want to stop individual rights because, after all, you can’t stop crazy.

They are concerned about the slippery slope of individual rights protected under the 2nd amendment.  But in 1789 the founding fathers could not have  imagined why individuals would need semi-automatic weapons.  Can you?

Law abiding citizens open their bags at arenas and sporting events, turn on laptops at airports as they walk around in bare feet doing what they are told to ensure our safety.  And we are willing to do more to prevent such tragedies. 

One thing we can do is demonstrate to our children that we won’t accept the status quo and ‘it is what it is’ is never a good response.

What we can do right now is reach out to our elected officials and tell them that this can’t happen again.  Public service announcements tell us that if you see something, say something. 

To our public officials: can you hear us now?

Have a good week, especially because you can hug your children

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®


2 Responses to “Hugging your family is neither a strategy nor a solution”

  1. Betsy says:

    Hi Tina,
    Just read your recent post. Love your message and delivery.

    The tragedy in Colorado is so heart-breaking and brings back to my family the tragedy we experienced a little more than a year ago.

    I am not sure I shared with you that my 26 year old nephew was murdered in a Tampa movie theatre parking lot on Memorial Day, one year ago. (I cannot share the details as some details are being withheld to protect the case. If you google Sean Buchanan + Tampa, or Sean Buchanan + one year ago the news stories should come up.)

    My sisters and I can put ourselves in the shoes of the adult family members of the Colorado victims. We worry about the younger members of our family as they watch the sisters, brothers, and friends deal with the loss of the young victims. They are just beginning to move forward and harbor much fear and uncertainty. The family members in Colorado have a long road ahead of them. We are just a short distance ahead on the journey of grief.

    Thank you for putting out a sensible message about gun control and the importance of holding our loved ones near. Life is so precious.

    Good to be in touch. Please give my best to your family.


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