Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. Nelson Mandela
Please watch this week’s video on Resilience.
It’s easy to parent little children with so much in our control. We oversee what they eat, when they sleep, what they wear, who they play with, what they watch and hear. A fall on the playground means a Band-Aid, a kiss, and it’s better.
But as our children grow, outside influences come into play. Life isn’t perfect, so it is important that we teach our children how to bounce back from adversity; how to be resilient.
When our children are faced with disappointments, how do you handle them?
- Your 15-year old daughter doesn’t make the cheerleading squad?
- Your 11-year old loses the spelling bee
- Your 9-year old didn’t make Little League All Stars?
Here are some conversation thought starters:
- Actively listen, and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Even if your child did something wrong, let them know everybody makes mistakes.
- Use the mistake as an opportunity to learn. Word of caution – they don’t like hearing ‘life lessons’ but they will someday appreciate the lesson.
- Let your child know you believe in them. This is different from acknowledging that they deserved to be selected in (fill in the blanks).
- Engage them in conversation about how they should handle this particular disappointment, and recommend ways they can handle it. Example, could you practice more?
- Explain the concept of the right skills and right fit. Example, you may have done your very best when trying out for choir, but if they need a soprano and you are an alto, you won’t get selected.
- Time heals all wounds, and as hard as it is for them to hear, it will be better tomorrow.
- When your child is better, remind them how good it feels to have handled the situation with grace, tact, dignity and the euphoric feeling of accomplishment.
For more information on this topic, please visit Parental Wisdom’s Facebook page and Twitter feed and you will find:
- Monday, July 13th Famous Failures video and a great journal from Parental Wisdom!
- Tuesday, July 14th Sesame Street & Bruno Mars video “Don’t give up”
- Wednesday, July 15th from Creative with Kids, 25 Ways to teach your children resilience
- Thursday, July 16th from PBS Kids, Encouraging Nature Play and a very interesting idea called ‘hummingbird’ parenting as compared to helicopter parenting.
- Friday, July 17th Making Bouncing Bubbles to teach kids how to bounce back!
- Saturday, July 18th 18 movies that build resilience in children
- And more…
And the best advice of all
Two simple words when things don’t go well…
Do Over
As always, please add your own great ideas, because after all, we are all in this together.
Enjoy and have a great week!
Tina Nocera, Founder
#valueoftheweek
#resilience
