Archive for the ‘Resilience’ Category

Choosing to recover from Sandy Hook

Saturday, January 5th, 2013

  

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” — Mister Rogers

I drove on Rt. 95 North in Connecticut today and spotted a billboard that said, ‘Sandy Hook chooses love’.  Perhaps that is how we begin to recover, we choose love.  

The young students of Sandy Hook returned to school this week to familiar surroundings thanks to thoughtful community support. They lit up when they saw their desks, book bags, teachers and friends.   Children are wonderfully resilient and always looking for the good in people.  They look to love.

This holiday season, there was a deep sadness we felt for the victims’ families because we knew that it wasn’t just this Christmas they would be missing, but every Christmas, every birthday, every first day of school.  There is an emptiness that won’t end for the families.

We’re also filled with fear that this could happen anywhere to anyone.  When our children ask if they are safe, how do we honestly respond?  How do we confidently send them off to school?

I’ve thought about this a lot since the Sandy Hook Elementary school incident happened, and wondered how we could answer these questions for our children and our own peace of mind.

There are actually a few answers:

As Mr. Rogers suggests, look to the helpers.  Fortunately, the good people in the world are in the majority. Though this speaks to our outlook; having a good frame of mind isn’t enough.

We can make things better by influencing and insisting on the change that must happen such as: 

  • Fewer guns, better screening and a ban on semi-automatic weapons. 
  • The 113th Congress just started their session. Why didn’t the previous Congress do something, and why didn’t we?
  • See my blog post from July 2012 following the shooting in Aurora CO ‘Hugging your family is neither a strategy nor a solution.’ The concern is that 4 million member National Rifle Association will present strong opposition because they are a power lobby.  But if we believe in the power of numbers, it should comfort you to know there are 35 million parents in America.  Congress should be more afraid of parents then a gun lobby.  Make sure voice and vote are heard.
  • When writing Congress, insist on better care for mental health.  You will note that it isn’t even a subject choice on the drop down menu, so you will have to write that in the body of your message.

Finally, do your best to raise good people so that we always have a growing supply of helpers.

If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much. – Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

 

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

You’re Not the Boss of Me

Sunday, July 10th, 2011

Schools are gearing up for anti-bullying programs this summer.  Coincidentally a new movie, Horrible Bosses opened this weekend.  

Here’s where it ties together – if you find yourself at the family dinner table complaining about your own boss, who might be a bully, know that your children will get the connection. 

  • The boss who continually makes jokes about your height, weight, baldness, etc. is a bully.
  • The boss who calls you in to discuss a project, but reads email instead of giving you full attention is a bully.
  • The boss who says no one talks up during meetings, but never gives anyone else a chance to talk is a bully.
  • The boss who says, “How are you doing?” but never waits for an answer is a bully.
  • The boss who complains about the status quo, but doesn’t listen to solutions offered by employees because they might mean more work, is a bully.
  • The boss who takes the credit but never the blame is a bully.

Your children are always watching.  Life isn’t perfect, but you have to demonstrate what you will do to make it better, and not simply do the job because you belong to the IHAM (I have a mortgage) club.

At least when a kid is stuffed in a locker, he/she can get out.  Show your kids that you will do whatever you can, including leave, to make things better.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  – Eleanor Roosevelt

Any experiences you care to share?  Leave a comment.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

How disasters help us to achieve the impossible

Sunday, October 17th, 2010


Hope is a waking dream.

- Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC)

The world watched as the Chilean miners were pulled up one by one.  For the first time, in a long time, we were united in hope.

But we also learned to:

  1. Understand the real problem
  2. Create a sense of urgency to resolve it
  3. Gather experts if needed to help
  4. Spare no expense; take no shortcuts
  5. Keep everyone informed
  6. Test the solution
  7. Pay it forward – President Pinera has offered to help China with their mining disaster

The miners’ survival of the ordeal provided a worldwide lesson on the strength of human resilience as 33 men were trapped 2,000 feet underground for more than two months. Chilean President Sebastian Pinera demonstrated remarkable leadership skills in a crisis.

Hopefully, an additional lesson is to improve the dangerous conditions existing in mines.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®