Archive for the ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’ Category

Words that start with B

Saturday, March 8th, 2014

A very long time ago, my mother picked me up from my kindergarten class in P.S. 153 Brooklyn, NY. The teacher pulled her aside to say, “Tina is a boss.”

That is why I found today’s WSJ article, Don’t Call Us Bossy, by Sheryl Sandberg and Anna Maria Chavez so fascinating.  I encourage women who have been called bossy, or anyone with daughters who are called bossy to read this article.

They discuss the word bossy which is the PG rated B word used before you enter the workforce, where assertive women are called the PG13 rated B word.

Serendipitous timing as today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day.  Read inspiring, empowering, or amusing quotes from women who have paved the way, and others who believe in women.  Also watch the video by Google.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Marilyn Monroe

Here’s a thought as we work through the alphabet of adjectives.  Let’s skip to the L word and call our girls Leaders.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Constraints help us be more creative

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

Next week, parents and teachers join forces to celebrate Read Across America Day, annually held on March 2. This nationwide observance coincides with the birthday of Dr Seuss, who is known for writing children’s books.

Teachers dress up and plan activities demonstrating the fun of reading.  Though geared to students, there is a lesson we can all learn from Dr. Seuss.

In 1960 his publisher at Random House, Bennett Cerf, made a wager with Theodor S. Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) that he could write an intelligent, entertaining children’s book only using 50 words.

Geisel won the bet and $50; one dollar for each word. Despite the limitation of words, over 200 million copies of Green Eggs and Ham have been sold.

Kids of all ages can learn how constraints help us be more creative.

Constraints are often used as an excuse for not moving forward.  Instead, let’s embrace them and come up with creative solutions.  Don’t buy your child a creativity kit, which is an oxymoron, but rather give them things you have around the house and ask them to create something.  You might be surprised at the result. Talk about how limitations helped the ground crew bring home the astronauts from Apollo 13.

In business, we look for reasons that stand in the way of us being innovative.  We don’t have the time or money, or we haven’t vetted out ideas properly, or don’t have the right talent. I’ve written this before, but if we wait till all the lights are green before we leave for work, we will never begin.

As our children’s greatest role model, what is it that you would love to do?  Get started despite the constraints, and your children will follow your lead.

You may even want to fry up Green Eggs and Ham!

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

When is a minute not equal to a minute

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

Some of the best ideas I get seem to happen when I’m doing mindless manual labor or exercise. I’m not sure how that happens, but it leaves me free for remarkable ideas to occur.  – Chuck Palahniuk

The January 25th WSJ featured an essay entitled, Why Mom’s Time Is Different from Dad’s Time.

The premise is that even though moms are working more and dads are contributing more, even if the time is equal the tasks are not.

So when does a minute not equal a minute? The answer is when the intensity of the task takes more focus, thought, single mindedness, etc.

When divvying up tasks, most moms will take the dishes because, “The dishes don’t talk back to you.” 

Reading through this, my thoughts trailed back to my childhood.  As the second eldest in a family of six kids, I remember my mother doing the dishes and singing Everybody’s talking at me.

In our multi-tasking, attention grabbing, never quiet present day society, we would willingly gravitate to the tasks that are, for lack of a better word, mindless.

I know I do…call me crazy, but I LOVE ironing!  My mind wanders, but yet at the same time there is attention to detail on the task at hand.

Most would agree that Moms are the CEO’s of the household and in that role, need time for quiet reflection.  So dads, volunteer for bath time after dinner, so moms can get lost in the dishes.

For fun, here are two links:

1.   From the past the classic Honeymooners show “A woman’s work is never done

2.   Present day link from Buzzfeed “Why dads can’t be Trusted to do Anything Right.”

Now, if you will excuse me…the ironing pile is calling.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Is it possible to quantify trust?

Saturday, January 18th, 2014

This week marked the fifth anniversary of the Miracle on the Hudson, where Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III safely glided U.S. Airways Flight 1549 after a flock of geese disabled the engines.

The more interesting fact may be that not one of the 150 passengers sued the airline, which is pretty surprising considering our very litigious society.  Even though no one was at fault, that rarely stops a firm looking for a good class action law suit.

Perhaps no one sued because of the enormous trust the passengers had in the pilot who demonstrated incredible character under such pressure, dismissing the praise by saying he was just doing his job?

Trust is earned but rarely quantified.

This would be a great discussion over dinner with the kids when you talk about how one person can make a difference.  Certainly ‘Sully’ who could be considered the Tom Hanks of air travel made a difference on January 15th 2009 to the lives of 150 people.

What difference can each of us make?

“The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?’
Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.”

-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

You’re Not the Boss of Me

Sunday, July 10th, 2011

Schools are gearing up for anti-bullying programs this summer.  Coincidentally a new movie, Horrible Bosses opened this weekend.  

Here’s where it ties together – if you find yourself at the family dinner table complaining about your own boss, who might be a bully, know that your children will get the connection. 

  • The boss who continually makes jokes about your height, weight, baldness, etc. is a bully.
  • The boss who calls you in to discuss a project, but reads email instead of giving you full attention is a bully.
  • The boss who says no one talks up during meetings, but never gives anyone else a chance to talk is a bully.
  • The boss who says, “How are you doing?” but never waits for an answer is a bully.
  • The boss who complains about the status quo, but doesn’t listen to solutions offered by employees because they might mean more work, is a bully.
  • The boss who takes the credit but never the blame is a bully.

Your children are always watching.  Life isn’t perfect, but you have to demonstrate what you will do to make it better, and not simply do the job because you belong to the IHAM (I have a mortgage) club.

At least when a kid is stuffed in a locker, he/she can get out.  Show your kids that you will do whatever you can, including leave, to make things better.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  – Eleanor Roosevelt

Any experiences you care to share?  Leave a comment.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

The Definition of Insanity

Monday, April 23rd, 2007

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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein, (attributed) US (German-born) physicist (1879 – 1955)

I’m not sure how we expect things to get better when we aren’t doing anything differently. We have to understand a problem before we can fix it. Unfortunately, we aren’t giving current problems enough attention to actually fix them, so they come back to haunt us.

What you’ll see below is our child-like ability to be easily distracted by the next big news story. Let’s step back a few years and look at the news stories just before 9/11.

In the year 2000, we were watching a million moms march to protect us from gun violence, but that lost news coverage.

If you recall, that summer prior to 9/11 was the summer of shark attacks. Did we ever figure out what prompted the attacks?

That is until the search for missing former intern Chandra Levy focused the spotlight on U.S. Rep. Gary Condit. Did we ever figure out who killed Chandra Levy?

The mystery with Chandra Levy’s disappearance was dramatically overshadowed by the 9/11 attacks; also know as the day the world changed. Did we ever find Osama Bin Laden?

In more recent news we had a series of child abductions where both 13-year-old Ben Ownby and 15-year-old Shawn Hornbeck were found at an apartment in Kirkwood, miles from the rural locations where the boys disappeared 4 1/2 years apart, but we still don’t protect our children well enough from predators.

That story was overshadowed by a diaper clad Lisa Nowak, a Navy captain, accused of accosting Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, 30, in the parking lot of Orlando International Airport early Monday and spraying her with pepper spray.

The astronaut story was overshadowed by the death of Anna Nicole Smith which took over the headlines for a very long time.

Which was then overshadowed by Don Imus’s comments about the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team. These were not new comments or new problems – just news. But we are distracted once again, and won’t stop to resolve the root cause of the Imus comments or racial tension that still exists.

Because the Imus comments were overshadowed by the shootings at Virgina Tech which just seem to bring us back to the first line of this blog – protecting us against gun violence.


We certainly qualify under Einstein’s definition of insanity.