How to help someone who doesn’t think they need any

What if someone stuck on a train track ignored you as you tried to pull them up to safety?

People feel that way when they try to give advice to the parent of a child heading down the wrong track. They see their words ignored, and know that no action will be taken.

In the blog post ‘Are you building or ruining the relationship?’ I suggested that other parents really don’t want to hear your advice unless they ask for it.  That is true since the advice is usually related to personal opinion about how to raise children.

In those cases, it is a parenting style you don’t like.  You may feel the parents are not raising a (fill in the blank), happy, responsible, independent, caring, etc. child.  But again, that is your opinion.

Then there are the cases where there is real cause for concern.  Nothing has happened – yet, but when you try and talk to the parent into get help for the child, they do nothing as this Parental Wisdom® member describes…

I am the single mom of an eight-year-old girl. She recently had a friend over; that girl is nine. My dad was watching the girls while I was at work.

When I came home, my daughter was in the pool and the other girl was inside on the computer. I reminded my daughter that I didn’t want to happen when friends are over. I went in to see the girl and she jumped up and away from the computer. I suggested both girls take showers before dinner and checked the history on the computer. The girl was looking at porn videos! I asked my daughter if she did this too and she said yes and started crying. Then I asked the other girl why she did this and how she knew where to look. She said she saw this on TV at her dad’s house (her parents are divorced).

I called the mom who in turn called the father who replied that he didn’t have time to talk about this. This little girl was also caught stealing from purses at a dance recital. I have repeatedly suggested to the mom that this little girl gets professional help, but I don’t think she will do anything about it. The reason I have her around my daughter is that I hope she will see good influences, but now I am concerned about having my daughter around this bad influence.

My question to Parental Wisdom is I have great concern about this little girl. At what point does someone report to child welfare? I can only think that if she has such troubled behavior at age nine, what will happen when she is a pre-teen?

See our expert advisor’s responses

The highest wisdom is kindness.  – Yiddish proverb

Have a good week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

4 Responses to “How to help someone who doesn’t think they need any”

  1. Truden says:

    Hola,
    De dуnde eres? їEs un secreto? :)

    Truden

  2. It’s posts like this that keep me coming back and checking this site regularly, thanks for the info!

  3. Very good information, could you maybe expand on this topic in the next post…Thank You.

  4. I’m very pleased you took the time and wrote that post?!

    Stacey

Leave a Reply