Pop quiz
Question: What do toilet training targets have to do with census data?
Answer: Everything.
We start early by giving our kids rewards for doing things they should do. We understood this sort of positive reinforcement encourages children to do the behaviors that we want them to do.
Ah! Therein lies the problem, the word behaviors. Are we raising children or seals?
Somewhere in this generation of parenting, we were told that giving children things to get them to do things was a good idea.
It is not. It is a terrible idea.
To make matters worse the concept of rewards for doing things you should do is creeping into all areas of our life.
School districts are rewarding children for grades by giving them monetary incentives. I was never in favor of giving kids money for good grades and now school districts are doing this.
I remember hosting a school clean up while PTO president as a way to have families connect with each other. A 4th grader, who had just swept the steps came over and told me, “I’m done, what do I get?” I replied, “The good feeling that comes with a job well done.” He was surprised that there wasn’t a ribbon or sticker or trophy.
Companies reward people for doing the job they are supposed to do. Isn’t a job an agreement to do certain tasks for a certain salary? If that is the case, then rewards only come into play when the job objectives are exceeded, not met.
More recently, the Census Bureau is looking at ways to increase the response rate, including the use of prizes as an incentive. The incentives can include winning an iPod, getting a Starbucks gift certificate or cash.
We have lost our minds. The reward for doing anything is intrinsic. The reward for your child getting good grades is about how he feels about working hard or even trying his best to get well deserved grades. The reward about peeing in the potty is that great feeling that comes with learning something new.
Whether the reward is stickers or candy or money please think about this. How and when will you wean them off the reward and simply get them to do the right thing?
After all, isn’t teaching our kids to do the right thing is a key objective of parenting?
