Hoorah! Finally, a Mean Mom

January 9th, 2008

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Jane Hambleton of Fort Dodge, Iowa has dubbed herself “the meanest mom on the planet.” Despite her harsh personnel criticism, she has people cheering, and I’m one of them.

I would suspect that if you questioned educators, coaches, emergency room nurses, school counselors, and police officers they would stand up and cheer for the mom who put an ad in the paper and sold her 19-year-old son’s car after she found alcohol in

It appears that parents of teens choose a camp. They are either as President Ronald Regan suggests, from the ‘trust, but verify’ school of thought, or the ‘blissfully ignorant’ camp, or from that river in Egypt, ‘selective denial.’

Under age drinking doesn’t make sense at all – period.

Jane Hambleton decided to be a parent at the sake of friendship. Kudos to you!

Our Celebrity Crazed Culture

January 6th, 2008

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The Wall St. Journal listed the most popular stories on the web. The most viewed was “Loyalty Points That Buy a Night With Travolta.”

For 124,000 Starwood Hotels & Resorts points, Michael and Georgia Soares might have spent six nights in Paris at Starwood’s Hotel Prince de Galles on the Champs-Elysees. Instead, the Southern California couple used their hotel points to spend one night with John Travolta and the cast of the movie “Hairspray” at the film’s New York premiere.

“We walked the red carpet and everything. It was cool,” says Mr. Soares, a 43-year-old father of four who owns a restaurant in Orange County with his wife. The Soares also attended the movie’s after-party, where they chatted with Mr. Travolta and snapped a few photos

While the hotels are thinking outside the box to provide new experiences that loyalty points can provide, I can’t help but wonder; what is the appeal of spending time with a celebrity?

Our culture treats celebrities as if they were royalty. Even if they were I couldn’t imagine trading in points to spend time with Prince Charles.

Isn’t it enough that we see celebrity photos in dozens of magazines on the checkout line, watch the intimate details of their life (or at least the ones they choose to share) on reality TV, while network and cable news shows lead off with celebrity stories as if the war in Iraq or potential recession was filler.

C’mon folks – let’s stop this feeding frenzy and live our own lives. I doubt that Travolta would trade in his points to meet with the Soares family.

Babies are the new accessory

January 3rd, 2008

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It is quite fashionable these days to have a baby. Better than a handbag or Chihuahua, babies are the new ‘it’ accessory.

Those of us who are professional parents (non-celebrities) always knew that. The difference is that when our babies become toddlers and eventually teens, we never loose interest in the fashion moment.

The next time a celebrity sits on Oprah’s couch and gushes about their baby, just be confident in the thought that your little star will always be shining even if your baby’s name doesn’t result in any Google hits.

Start the New Year appreciating what you have

January 1st, 2008

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The New Year gives us a gift – a new way of looking at things.

The stores that just weeks ago were overflowing with merchandise, are now clear of anything red or green, and now offer ways to better organize and clean.

More than anything, the New Year gives us a new outlook; some people set goals and objectives, others believe it is a waste of time. What we all should do is take a moment to think about all that we have and what we can be grateful for.

• The people in our lives
• Good health
• Opportunity
• Another year to build memories

Happy New Year, and wishing you a healthy, happy and memorable 2008!

Please respect our privacy at this very difficult time

December 25th, 2007

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My mom often says, “Don’t spit in the water, because you may have to drink it someday.”

Loosely translated that means you shouldn’t talk about other people’s kids because your kids could make the same mistakes.

The announcement of 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears’s pregnancy is not a reason to question the parenting skills of Lynne Spears or the decision to delay the release of her parenting book.

Each parent has one variable we have to constantly be reminded of – our children.

Since I’m not standing in her shoes I can’t question Lynne Spears’s parenting skills. What I can question is who is selling the photos and stories to the media.

Their older daughter has to live with constant paparazzi bombardment and would welcome privacy. Knowing that, why would the family agree to invite the media into this very difficult time.

As parents, we wear many hats. But one of the most important roles is to be our child’s advocate. That means giving them time to learn from the mistakes they make.

That is, out of the limelight.

When you don’t know what to get someone

December 17th, 2007

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When you don’t know what to get someone, they probably don’t need anything. But there are people that do need things, some very badly.

Case in point:

Read All She Wants for Christmas is a New Jaw — ArchWired.com and The Braces Cookbook Try to Help

You can help to make a difference in the life of 19-year-old Jalyn Jones. It will give her something that each of us simply takes for granted.

Before you buy one more gift to put under the tree, perhaps you and even the recipient of your gift, will feel better about giving to someone else.

One of the most beautiful compensations of this life is that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Merry Christmas!

The front porch in communities

December 14th, 2007

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In the book, Come On People: On the Path from Victims to Victors the authors Bill Cosby and Alvin F. Poussaint have a powerful message for families and communities as they lay out their visions for strengthening America, or for that matter the world.

They address the crises of people who are stuck because of feelings of low self-esteem, abandonment, anger, fearfulness, sadness, and feelings of being used, undefended and unprotected. These feelings often impede their ability to move forward. The authors aim to help empower people make the daunting transition from victims to victors. Come On, People! is always engaging, and loaded with heart-piercing stories of the problems facing many communities.

The issues the authors bring to light in this book are not exaggerated. But the problems to a much lesser degree are not limited to this community. Children simply exist and do not reach their potential in even the most affluent communities. The deciding factor seems of how successful a child turns out seems to revolve around how much the family and community care about the child. By success, I don’t mean to limit the discussion to grades or future earnings, but contentment and self-esteem to believe they can do anything they set their minds to.

If we want to improve the success of today’s youth we can take the approach of bringing back front porches; literally and figuratively. It’s a metaphor for people to watch out for their community and to know that each of us is known and accountable for our actions.

It does take a village to raise a child.

Let’s Educate Not Legislate

December 8th, 2007

 

The work will teach you how to do it. -Estonian Proverb

Imagine if we taught our children to be good people the same way we are taught to be good parents. If done the same way, we would wait until they did something wrong, criticize, possibly incarcerate and then instruct.

Somewhat counterproductive, right?

That is what I think about the recent attempt to ban spanking in Massachusetts.

When we first become parents, our hope is that parents raise good people. On the surface that seems relatively simple; almost too simple. In reality, it is simple for a very short time; when our children are completely in our care, before the outside world has an influence. The bottom line is that parents are never taught how to be parents, and many of parent the way we were parented. If our parents spanked, we learned to spank and fear it will become out of control because we’re not the parents who go anywhere near abuse.

By doing a little homework on the topic of spanking we would learn that it is harmful. Children that hit are children that hit others; the lesson is that it is ok for the bigger person to hit. Furthermore, if we are spanking, we have probably lost our temper, which teaches our children it is ok to lose our temper, and does put us in the danger zone to become abusive. But still creating laws against spanking is simply wrong.

Consider education before legislation.

Have We Really Evolved?

November 27th, 2007

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Parents Say Online Bullies Caused Daughter’s Suicide

When your children are little, and when they fall and hurt themselves it’s easy to kiss the hurt and apply a band-aid.

But as they get older, the world can be cold and cruel, and situations that can’t be fixed with a band-aid and kiss.

The story in recent news is incredible and makes me wonder if we’ve really evolved at all. Parents posing as a teen age boy befriend a 14-year-old girl online. The girl’s parents took all the right precautions regarding Internet safety, but after ‘Josh’ befriended their daughter, he began to say cruel and hurtful things.

The intention of the parents pretending to be Josh was to see if the girl said anything bad about their daughter. That in itself is unreal. But the story gets worse because the teenage girl was on medication for ADD and depression, and hung herself because of the cruelty.

When it was realized that this was a hoax, the girl’s parents confronted the neighborhood family that created Josh and after losing their tempers did some damage to their property, and called the police.

The law cannot do anything to the family that created this hoax, while there is a family that no longer has their little girl. She had a name – it was Megan Miers.

Please remember her name because Megan’s parents are working on legislation to change the law so this doesn’t happen to someone else’s child. When they need support, I’m sure they can count on every parent that wants to protect their children.

My heart goes out to this family, along with my support.

Reality TV and our boring lives

November 25th, 2007

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Have you ever watched your life from the outside looking in? If someone were to do that and look in on my life, it would not be very good television. That makes me happy. It isn’t my goal to be a guest on Dr. Phil or Nanny 911. The same applies to my friends and family.

In fact I’ve often wondered about the families that appear on these shows. Where is their ‘village’ in their lives that offer support. They either don’t have any or didn’t listen if advice was offered.

A new book is out by Dr. John Rosemon entitled “Parenting by The Book” (Howard Books, 2007), his 12th book on parenting, Rosemond attributes parental stress, frustration, anxiety, and guilt to the fact that they’ve adopted a postmodern psychological parenting paradigm that doesn’t work.

He suggests that we move away from child-centered parenting, which he believes is the cause of so many negative parenting experiences.

Without having the benefit of reading his book, I would believe his theory has some merit. I know that many families are reluctant to abandon the play dates and aggressive activity schedules simply because they would be the first to do so, and then what would their children do?

Collectively, we need to start and take back control of our families. Now is a great time to start.