Archive for the ‘Daily Inspirational Call’ Category

Do What Matters Most

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

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You may have heard the story of the old professor of the School of Public Management in France. He was invited to lecture on the topic of “Efficient Time Management” in front of a group of 15 executive managers representing the largest, most successful companies in America. The lecture was one in a series of five lectures conducted in one day, and the old professor was given one hour to lecture. Standing in front of this group of elite managers—who were willing to write down every word that would come out of the famous professor’s mouth—the professor slowly met eyes with each manager, one by one, and finally said, “We are going to conduct an experiment”.

From under the table that stood between the professor and the listeners, the professor pulled out a big glass jar and gently placed it in front of him. Next, he pulled out from under the table a bag of stones, each the size of a tennis ball, and placed the stones one by one in the jar. He did so until there was no room to add another stone in the jar. Lifting his gaze to the managers, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” The managers replied, “Yes.” The professor paused for a moment, and replied, “Really?”

Then once again, he reached under the table and pulled out a bag full of pebbles. Carefully, the professor poured the pebbles in and slightly rattled the jar, allowing the pebbles to slip through the larger stones until they settled at the bottom. Again, the professor lifted his gaze to his audience and asked, “Is the jar full?” At this point, the managers began to understand his intentions. One replied, “Apparently not!” “Correct,” replied the old professor, pulling out a bag of sand from under the table. Cautiously, the professor poured the sand into the jar. The sand filled up the spaces between the stones and the pebbles. Yet again, the professor asked, “Is the jar full?” Without hesitation, the entire group of students replied in unison, “No!” “Correct,” replied the professor. As was expected by the students, the professor reached for the pitcher of water that was on the table and poured water in the jar until it was absolutely full. The professor now lifted his gaze once again and asked, “What great truth can we surmise from this experiment?” With his thoughts on the lecture topic, one manager quickly replied, “We learn that as full as our schedules may appear, if we only increase our effort, it is always possible to add more meetings and tasks.” “No,” replied the professor. “The great truth that we can conclude from this experiment is, if we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.”

The Right Person

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

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It doesn’t matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice.
Deng Xiaoping

62 million people voted in the 2004 presidential election. As you might suspect the number of people that voted for American Idol was larger; it was 74 million.

Just imagine for a moment what life would be like if it wasn’t a popularity contest. Imagine that you could count on the right person being in the right job.

Think about it – you visit a store and the clerk is knowledgeable about the product he is selling.
You visit a doctor, and the diagnosis and treatment are exactly what they should be.
Your mechanic can quickly identify the troubling sound of your car.
Your local politician would put the interest of his constituents above his own.
Life would be good.

Well guess what parents. You can make that happen. How? By not insisting that your child is the right person when he is not, like being placed in honors classes if he doesn’t belong there. By not demanding that your daughter gets the lead in the play. By not bullying your way to the dugout so your little leaguer gets more playing time.

Where do you think it starts? Isn’t it time to stop it?

The Present

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

In the movie Click, Adam Sandler plays a workaholic who gets a universal remote and tries to fast forward through the less than perfect parts of his life. He eventually realizes that he missed most of it, but has the opportunity to go back and fix it.

Most of us don’t get that chance. The spring is a tough time of the year on parents, with school, sports and music events that keep us running from one thing to the next. What we don’t realize is that our perception of the situation is a choice we get to make. Like Adam Sandler, we can rush through it, or realize that it is a moment in time we can enjoy.

For any of us that ever wished for time to pass more quickly whether it was wishing for naptime, or wishing for a baby to start walking, or for a little league game to finally end, we learn they always do, and one day we will miss buying Treasure Rooms accessories.

Funny how when raising the children the hours go so slowly but the years fly by.

Don’t rush through life, because you will get exactly what you wish for. The question is – is that what you really want? I heard a story recently that had me really heartbroken. This past mother’s day, a number of the nursery and pre-schools host morning teas to honor the moms. One mom arrived along with all the other moms and told her little 5-year-old girl that she had to take a quick call and would be right back. She spent the hour in the car on a business conference call, while her daughter cried in the hall the whole time waiting for her to come back in.

Don’t miss it – you only get one chance. The thing to keep in mind is if you see these events as stressful, they will be. If you see these moments in time as gifts – they will be that too. There is a great saying:

The past is history
The future a mystery
Today is a gift – that’s why they call it the Present.

When Mistakes are Costly

Monday, May 14th, 2007

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This same message can be heard on the Parental Wisdom Daily Inspirational Call (641) 985-5999 ext. 24290#

In yesterday’s blog, I wrote about what we can learn from other people’s mistakes. My hope is that the mistakes are not too costly.

On the news front celebrities were coming forward with offers of financial help to find anyone with information on Madeleine McCann, the adorable four-year-old girl who vanished while on a vacation in Portugal.

As I was reading the article, it was there right in front of me – I was so startled that I had to read it several times. She vanished after her parents left her and her brother and sister, both age 2 alone while they went to a nearby restaurant within their hotel complex.

Left their children alone? A 4 year old and 2 year old twins? Are you serious?

I wanted Parental Wisdom’s daily call to be inspirational, but I may have to re-think that. Is it me or should it be obvious that you never leave young children alone, especially not in a foreign country. I feel for these parents – they must be hysterical, but back to yesterdays message. We can learn from the mistakes of others.

Don’t leave your children alone – ever.

Since I didn’t think it was something I would have to say on this call let me tell me share some other obvious instructions. These are actual label instructions on consumer products:

On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN

On a child’s superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY

Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage

A toilet bowl cleaning brush
Do not use orally

Laundromat triple washer
No small children

Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe

Children’s cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery

I hope this little girl is quickly reunited with her family. I hope they never leave their children alone again.

The Beauty of Other People’s Mistakes

Sunday, May 13th, 2007

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This same message can be heard on the Parental Wisdom Daily Inspirational Call (641) 985-5999 ext. 24290#

Do you know what the definition of a consultant is? It is a person who borrows your watch, tells you the time, returns your watch and bills you for the information. Information, I might add that you could have easily gotten on your own.

I can make jokes about that because I frequently consult. You see the value of consulting is usually proving what people already think.

Parents don’t often realize how much they act as consultants. They can be out in public, at school, sports functions or family events and they are often observing others working at the craft of parenting, and the results that follow.

It is easy for us to stand back and watch as another parent gives in to the 28th request for candy at the checkout line, smugly thinking ‘Well, that is the problem right there’. The child just needed a consistent and clear NO and the problem would have been solved. You may be thinking that , when in reality given the same situation you might have reacted the same way?

With the news media so focused on celebrity parenting, we have had yet again our share of learning what we can better.

David Hasselhoff’s 16-year-old daughter Taylor filmed her drunken father on the floor, asking him to promise to stop drinking.

Alec Baldwin’s telephone rant that will forever associate his little girl to being a rude pig.

Paris Hilton’s mom who failed to explain responsibility and consequences.

It’s easier to see some mistakes more than others. It is even smarter to learn from them.

Any family that has been torn apart by alcohol abuse can understand Taylor Hasselhoff’s heartbreaking pain. The video might make a difference and change behavior to a parent battling alcohol to see that their actions have a tremendous impact of the entire family.

Couples battling custody issues might realize how hurtful, damaging and foolish their war is.

And what parent doesn’t realize how unfair it is not to hold our children responsible for their actions by watching the antics of Paris Hilton.

Yes parents can do what consultants do – look in the window of the lives of others and point out the obvious – a better way to do things.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thursday, May 10th, 2007

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This mother’s day let’s salute and thank all the mom’s who continue to work at this job every day. Let’s go a step further and give them some help.

Husbands, give your wives understanding and support. Real men do change diapers. Some of the best presents are heartfelt expressions of love and appreciation for specific things she does.

Employers, recognize the fact that if you want a good future work force, it is the mothers of this country that will help you realize that goal. They can’t do that if they are working unrealistic hours, because they need to be with their children to be an influence on them. Be more creative. We get it that you goal is to be profitable. We can help you do that. Consider job sharing and flexible hours at every level in your organization. Two part time moms just might be more effective than one full time mom. Give new moms time to spend with their newborn babies, even encourage them to do so by making it possible with paid family leave.

Educators instead of telling parents what their children cannot do, tell them what their children can do. Parents do want to be part of their children’s education, but recognize that today’s family is different than previous generations. If parents aren’t coming into school for meetings and events, you might want think of inventive ways of communicating with them; possibly free conference call services that are available like Telejunctions.

Legislators listen to us, we know what we’re talking about. We are your mothers. Pay attention when we talk about curbing drunk driving and tighter gun laws. Stop talking about American Family Values and do something about it. Parents know what your legislators are doing visit and look up Paid Leave Activity in Other States and be sure to read the report on balancing work and family which proves why paid family leave makes sense.

Moms give other moms encouragement and when possible, the gift of time.

Children, what mothers want most for mother’s day is for you to be healthy and happy. But there are also some great mom coupons that you can make up. Here are a few ideas, breakfast in bed, cleaning up your room without being asked, taking the dog out, taking out the garbage, and anything else that requires taking out. Be imaginative and look around at the things your mom does and help her do it. You’ll find coupon templates under free reports on Parental Wisdom.

Happy Mothers’ Day and have a great weekend, especially to all you wonderful moms out there. I’ll talk to you on Monday. Leave a comment after the beep or post a comment on the PW blog.

This message can also be heard on the Parental Wisdom Daily Inspirational Call Line – (641) 985-5999 ext. 24290#

April Showers brings….stress?

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

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This time of year is especially difficult for parents. Doesn’t it seem as if we have to be a number of places at the same time – all the time? Kids sports, school spring concerts and family events seem to collide.

I used to think that holidays were a stressful time of year. But that was BC (before children) and all the events associated with having children that seem to make life more challenging. Here are a few simple ways to make life easier:

Think Nancy Regan – Just say no. But figure out who you should say no to. The people that matter most in your life should be on top of the yes list. You know that already; this is just a friendly reminder.
No it isn’t possible for you to attend two of your children’s games across town at the same time – they haven’t yet been successful at cloning parents. Don’t be guilted by this, and be in one place and pay attention. Each child will get his or her own personal attention from you.
This will sound like a contradiction but it makes sense – get up 15 minutes earlier and still get more sleep. Yes, that means forget the late night talk shows and turn in a little earlier.
Everybody is on the road along with you, so allow more time than you need
Permission granted – so the house is a little dusty – haven’t you seen the poem circling the world via email about the cobwebs and kids? Here is the abbreviated version – The kids grow up very fast so the cobwebs can wait. Any questions?
Ignore the phones – all of them, at least for a little while
Prevention is a cure – fix little problems before they become big ones like low tire pressure, gas in the car, milk in the house making extra copies of keys before you lose them. Hide them or give one to a neighbor..
Does it make sense to buy in bulk this time of year – yes!
Cook ahead and invite the kids to help in the planning and preparation on a Sunday for the week ahead.
Ask them to figure out ways to manage better and then ask them to sign up to help. Who can set the table, take out the trash, fold the towels, etc. Remind them they are part of a family.
Pick your battles
Talk to a calm friend about the things you don’t see that might be causing you unneeded stress
Add an ounce of love to all that you do especially for those that you love
Laugh – research has proven that laughter is a great stress reducer. With kids I’m sure you can find something to laugh about.
Breathe – Live by the airline rule – parents put on your oxygen mask before you put on your child’s. Translation – take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

Remember – most people are doing the best they can – so are you.

Getting to Parent Heaven

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

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Do you think there is a parent heaven?

You would certainly hope so. After all, there should be some kind of a reward for all this hard but wonderful work.

Nature protects us from initially understanding this job. As you watch nervous first time parents coming home from the hospital they are so concerned about getting the car seat in properly, and then getting the baby in the car seat properly and finally surviving the first night home that they don’t realize something very important.

They are not only bringing home a baby, they are also bringing home a future learners’ permit carrying driver – yes, let me just say it – a teenager. Wheh! Thank God they don’t figure that out or they would take up permanent residence in the hospital under the watchful eye of professionals.

But still, there lessons are every day, and as parenting experiences pile up. Much like the children’s game of Chutes and Ladders, each day you get a step closer to winning, or in our case parent heaven. Naturally there are qualifiers such as going to Chuck E Cheese twice. Anyone that goes once can be excused because you don’t have a clue what you’re getting into. But when you do that second time, you are going with eyes wide open.

If you’ve ever sat through an entire season of little league games that start in March when you’re carrying your thermos of hot cocoa and wearing your parka and the games that end just before the 4th of July in the sweltering heat.

Another express pass to parent heaven is given to anyone that goes to a 4th grade recorder recital. The sounds coming from the stage of fifty 4th graders playing hot cross buns are enough to make your ears bleed. But we’re parents, and we react as if we’re hearing the sounds of the great classical musician Joshua Bell. We are there for our children and don’t mind any of these things at all, in fact they are a privilege.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Family Traditions

Friday, May 4th, 2007

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We recently talked about creating a family culture. From that culture, rituals and traditions begin. Children love rituals because it helps them to feel secure. Have you noticed that when you do something twice, kids immediately call it a tradition? Actually a lot of good parenting can come from watching our children’s reaction to things; both good and bad.

Now I love Friday nights because that means it is the end of the work week, and more time we could spend together as a family. I made it even better by giving myself the night off from cooking every Friday night.

When my kids were little, I would pick the kids up from nursery school after work, we would head over to the Chinese restaurant which was strategically placed next door to Blockbuster. Our tradition started innocently enough, with a little song Chinese food and movies. Next it evolved into a silly little dance, a sort of conga. You had to see this – I’m in a business suit, doing this conga dance and singing this song as I move with my little kids from the Chinese restaurant as we placed our order, then to rent a movie and back to pick up the food. We would come home, get into comfy clothes and veg out. Though my kids are big now, I still carry on the tradition of not cooking on Friday nights.

There are many simple traditions families have like taking a walk or playing cards after dinner. Some have seasonal traditions like apple picking in the fall, berry picking in the spring, cutting down a Christmas tree, indoor campouts, or fishing.

Children value these simple times. What are your favorite family traditions?

You can visit Parental Wisdom and print out the free report Wonderful Family traditions.

Talk to you on Monday. Have a great weekend and Happy Friday!

Creating a Family Culture

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

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When asked how he went about his work, the great artist Michelangleo said that if given a block of stone and asked to carve an angel, he would simply take his hammer and chisel and carve away anything that didn’t look like an angel.

That is an interesting perspective we can use when raising children. What if we could chip away at the behaviors we didn’t want our children to have. Instead, what if we helped to shape the positive behaviors we wanted our children to exhibit? Better yet, what if we focused on raising the kind of a person we want our children to become? Just imagine that you have clay and were able to mold your child.

You have to agree that despite all the outside influences, you are still the greatest influence. I know it is really tough work to raise a child, but think of it this way. It is easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult.

Taking it a step further, think about the kind of a family and home you want? Growing up you must remember different kinds of families. There was the fun family, the yellers, and there was the family whose home was like a museum, where everything was covered in plastic and roped off. Did you ever wonder how that happens? You’re in charge now and you get to choose. But we have to do that consciously and figure out what kind of a family you want.

It begins with a definition of family, which can simply be defined as people loving and caring for one another, no matter where they live or with whom they live. It is helpful to associate language around what you believe, for example, “We are a family that loves each other unconditionally, and encourages differing opinions but always respects one another. We are a family that loves to spend time together having fun.” Make it up – but make it happen. In the case of blended families, this becomes even more important. Consider what happens with a merger and acquisition – two companies come together which is exactly what a blended family is.

Something to think about.

To print out Creating a Family Culture visit Parental Wisdom and click on free reports