Parental Wisdom® by Tina Nocera

We recently talked about creating a family culture. From that culture, rituals and traditions begin. Children love rituals because it helps them to feel secure. Have you noticed that when you do something twice, kids immediately call it a tradition? Actually a lot of good parenting can come from watching our children’s reaction to things; both good and bad.

Now I love Friday nights because that means it is the end of the work week, and more time we could spend together as a family. I made it even better by giving myself the night off from cooking every Friday night.

When my kids were little, I would pick the kids up from nursery school after work, we would head over to the Chinese restaurant which was strategically placed next door to Blockbuster. Our tradition started innocently enough, with a little song Chinese food and movies. Next it evolved into a silly little dance, a sort of conga. You had to see this – I’m in a business suit, doing this conga dance and singing this song as I move with my little kids from the Chinese restaurant as we placed our order, then to rent a movie and back to pick up the food. We would come home, get into comfy clothes and veg out. Though my kids are big now, I still carry on the tradition of not cooking on Friday nights.

There are many simple traditions families have like taking a walk or playing cards after dinner. Some have seasonal traditions like apple picking in the fall, berry picking in the spring, cutting down a Christmas tree, indoor campouts, or fishing.

Children value these simple times. What are your favorite family traditions?

You can visit Parental Wisdom and print out the free report Wonderful Family traditions.

Talk to you on Monday. Have a great weekend and Happy Friday!

When asked how he went about his work, the great artist Michelangleo said that if given a block of stone and asked to carve an angel, he would simply take his hammer and chisel and carve away anything that didn’t look like an angel.

That is an interesting perspective we can use when raising children. What if we could chip away at the behaviors we didn’t want our children to have. Instead, what if we helped to shape the positive behaviors we wanted our children to exhibit? Better yet, what if we focused on raising the kind of a person we want our children to become? Just imagine that you have clay and were able to mold your child.

You have to agree that despite all the outside influences, you are still the greatest influence. I know it is really tough work to raise a child, but think of it this way. It is easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult.

Taking it a step further, think about the kind of a family and home you want? Growing up you must remember different kinds of families. There was the fun family, the yellers, and there was the family whose home was like a museum, where everything was covered in plastic and roped off. Did you ever wonder how that happens? You’re in charge now and you get to choose. But we have to do that consciously and figure out what kind of a family you want.

It begins with a definition of family, which can simply be defined as people loving and caring for one another, no matter where they live or with whom they live. It is helpful to associate language around what you believe, for example, “We are a family that loves each other unconditionally, and encourages differing opinions but always respects one another. We are a family that loves to spend time together having fun.” Make it up – but make it happen. In the case of blended families, this becomes even more important. Consider what happens with a merger and acquisition – two companies come together which is exactly what a blended family is.

Something to think about.

To print out Creating a Family Culture visit Parental Wisdom and click on free reports