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Teach by Example by Dr. Vicki Panaccione

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Parental Wisdom® welcomes guest blogger Dr. Vicki

Dr. Vicki’s “Top 10” Parenting Series!

TEACH BY EXAMPLE

“Do as I say, not as I do,” does not work!
The behaviors you model are the behaviors your children will learn. If you want them to be responsible, kind, respectful, moral, independent, loving, honorable, etc., then, you must show them how to lead an honorable, kind, moral, respectful, etc. life. Knowing that they can count on Mom and Dad to ‘do the right thing’ provides a strong sense of security and stability for your children, and a model by which they can fashion their lives. They may drift astray, but are likely to come back to being the kind of person you modeled.

Top 10 Tips to Teach by Example:
1.   Love each other.
2.   Live your life the way you want your children to live theirs.
3.   Be honest.
4.   Show respect for others.
5.   Take good care of yourself.
6.   Take responsibility for your actions.
7.   Express your feelings.
8.   Use positive coping skills.
9.   Be kind and compassionate..
10.   Follow the rules.
Enjoy your children!
“Dr. Vicki” The Parenting Professor Come visit my site for lots more parenting tips.

“Internationally recognized as a passionate and dedicated parent/child specialist, child psychologist “Dr. Vicki” Panaccione has spent the last 25 years helping thousands of families strengthen what she calls the “CaringConnection,” the emotional bond between parents and children.” “Dr. Vicki is the author of Discovering Your Child: Parent Guide, and CaringConnections, her weekly online newsletter, helping parents find joy and fulfillment in their relationships with their children.”

To see the complete report you can also visit Parental Wisdom® – Free Reports

Posted in Parenting 101, values | 8 Comments »

Tell Me What To Do Next

Saturday, May 29th, 2010

This week USA Today ran a story questioning why moms judge one another and their parenting.

I hope none of us are out there waiting on our next move to be based on the opinions or judgment of others. That makes no sense because you are the expert of your children.

I guess that is what I love best about Parental Wisdom®. You ask the questions, anonymously and for free, and get back multiple expert answers so you can choose what works best for your child and situation. Something you can’t get anywhere else – – that is why it is so unique it’s patented.

Parenting after all is like arts and crafts – art because the people involved always make it new, and crafts because the longer you work at it, the better you get, but only if you listen to yourself. With our help, you can get the answers you need to figure it out, so the problems aren’t being swept under the rug.

To listen to the audio on this post, click here tell me what to do next

To become a Parental Wisdom member Become a Member!

Posted in Parenting 101 | 3 Comments »

So how are you doing?

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

“So how am I doing?”

That was a frequent question posed by Ed Koch, the popular three-term New York City Mayor.

As a parent even though that is such a great question, how do you know how you’re doing?

I have never been of the mindset that straight A’s are the barometer, yet when you meet someone and ask about the kids that is the answer you’ll most likely get. The reason this is top of mind is that we’re in the midst of college and high school graduations where these measures seem to matter.

But then I think about all the friends and family that are having babies and I wonder as they hold their beautiful little newborns, do they think about the kind of person they will raise?

What if you met your little tiny baby 25 years from now – what kind of a person would you like to meet? What qualities should that child possess? Even more interesting what if you could reverse engineer that child and focus on the qualities that you feel matter?

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” – Michelangelo

The Parental Wisdom advisory group will be writing a collaborative work on this subject. Each of us will write about a specific quality and the book (yet untitled) will not be sold, but will be given away to all our members. I invite you to send me a note with the qualities you feel matter in our efforts to raise good people. As an example, you might consider self-reliance, empathy, confidence, fun-loving, etc., though I am not trying to limit your thoughts in any way.

Please send your emails to my by Monday, May 31^st – we are very excited about this work.

p.s. my bumper sticker says Proud Parent of a Good Person – I’m happy to send you one. Just make sure your mailing address is up to date (you must be a Parental Wisdom member) just login and check your profile. Drop me a note and I’ll put one in the mail.

Posted in Parenting 101 | 11 Comments »

Temple Grandin, PH. D.

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

Kudos to HBO for presenting Temple Grandin.

Not only was the movie was uplifting and interesting, but I felt something that doesn’t often happen with most shows; I was left wanting more.

Fortunately I found the real Temple Grandin as she presented a lecture at TED. Ted is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. TED started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design.

Click here to see her presentation video. Temple Grandin at TED 2010 We need all kinds of minds

Posted in Communication, Creativity, Parenting 101, Special Needs | 53 Comments »

When are we finished parenting?

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

A few years ago when I was creating Parental Wisdom, a few very smart people posed a question.

Them – “Who is your target market?”
Me – “Parents.”
Them – “That is the dumbest answer I ever heard.”
Me – “But I just don’t think you’re ever done parenting.”

Fast forward a few years and if you look at the sample question and answers and you’ll find categories entitled college age children and adult children. Turns out, you aren’t ever done parenting to respond to the subject line of this message.

Funny, but I just heard a commercial for a new movie out called Brooklyn’s Finest (since I’m originally from Brooklyn it got my attention). In the trailer, the veteran cop says to the rookie, “You got 20 years of days. This job takes enough out of you”

I suppose we do our first 20 years of parenting in days too. Enjoy every day.

Parental Wisdom is in the running for a $50,000 grant from Pepsi to promote and provide parenting lectures. Great if you voted for us!

Please hurry as the deadline is February 28th. And do share with your friends and family.

All the best ,

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom

Posted in Parenting 101 | 6 Comments »

Too much reliance on my GPS

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

I’ve been used to my GPS constantly correcting me and requesting that I make a legal U-turn when possible; but the other day it simply didn’t work. There I was, left to fend for myself.

Quite frankly I am directionally challenged, and not able to look at a map and figure out where I am or where I’m headed. At that point I realized how much dependency I put on the GPS, and now it failed me. In reality I failed myself by not having enough of a foundation to figure things out. I realized that without the GPS, I was lost.

There isn’t any difference in the world of parenting. Our job is to give our children a good foundation, but it’s the confidence they build in handling situations that creates one of life’s most important characteristics; self reliance. Much like me without the GPS, your children will be lost without self-reliance.

Think about how we teach children to ride a two-wheeler. You put the training wheels on and then kept loosening them up little by little until they are confident enough to take the ride without any training wheels at all.

p.s. Great hint – -when you’re running along side the bike, it’s a great idea for you to be in roller blades. It makes the job so much easier! Another tip is using the Wisper Bikes have a fantastic range of electric bicycles.

Here are some ways to make sure that you’re heading in the right direction in teaching self-reliance (no pun intended):

Let the kids make some decisions as early as possible. So what if they’re wearing stripes and polka-dots?
Demonstrate that you are always solving little problems and learning along the way. Aren’t you? After all, who figured out how to install the new TV?
Move from being ‘the all wise and powerful’ mom or dad to a coach. Tell them less about how they should do something, and instead raise questions they could answer for themselves. “Why do you think your friends responded that way?”
Be a great support system. They might need your encouragement to try again, or a little harder, or in taking a slightly different approach. If they come to you for permission to give up, don’t make it so easy for them.
Responsibilities are very important for building self reliance. Even with very young children, assign chores that make them part of a family that works together. For example, for a child as young as age 3, take digital pictures of them making their bed; 1) put the pillow in place, 2) smooth the sheets and lift the blankets, and 3) lift and smooth out the comforter. Laminate the pictures and put them near the bed so they can see how well they did.

Reminder – – We’re getting ready to test a newsletter that will be mailed to your home. In order to receive this newsletter, please be certain that you are registered as a Parental Wisdom® member with a full and complete mailing address.

If you’re just signed up with an email account, we won’t have your address so we can’t mail it to you. Here is the link to sign up, and don’t forget to share this with your friends.

Posted in Helping Families, Parenting 101, Responsibility, Self Esteem, Self Reliance | 17 Comments »

TALKING TO KIDS ABOUT THE HAITI DISASTER

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

From Dr. Vicki Panaccione

Kids are being bombarded with disasters on a regular basis. Whether it’s war, tornadoes, hurricanes, wildfires, terrorist bombings and now the earthquake in Haiti, it seems that there is always something horrific happening in the world. And, as you find it difficult to process what’s going on around us, imagine what your kids are experiencing.

There is exposure everywhere…on TV, radio, newspapers, internet and in the classrooms. So, the question becomes: What do I tell my kids? Kids will react differently and harbor different concerns depending upon their own developmental stage, temperament and personality. Understanding your own kids’ mindset will help you decide how much to say and what to do. Obviously, different age kids will require different depths of information.

Toddlers do not understand what’s going on. You may tend to project your feelings onto them and be concerned about their feelings. However, they are oblivious, unless they feel emotional cues from you. If mommy or daddy appears to be frightened, grief-stricken or overly-emotional, toddlers may temporarily appear that way as well, because you are upset.
Preschoolers are able to understand the basics of what is occurring, yet don’t really have emotional connections to the events. Again, they tend to pick up your emotional cues. So, avoid displays of fear and grief in front of them, and they won’t feel any effect of the tragedy.
School-aged kids do begin to understand and are more likely to be exposed to the events. They may become anxious, experiencing fears of personal safety. These youngsters want to know, “Can this happen here?” “What will happen to me?” Provide lots of reassurance. If you don’t live in an earthquake zone, the possibility can be easily negated. If, however, you do live in an area of earthquake possibility, explanations can be made about the preparedness of the city, the better construction of the buildings, etc. Don’t tell your kids that it can’t happen, if indeed, the possibility exists. Let them know how you are prepared, and discuss plans for evacuation, etc. • Older kids may struggle with the spiritual and humanitarian issues, dealing with the loss of human life and the confusion of their God allowing this to happen. These kids need to be allowed to vent, and listened to…just listen. Allow them to have their feelings, even if it’s anger toward their God. It is fine to share your similar concerns, and discuss ways that you can be of service to the people in distress.

Here are some ways to help:

First of all, remain calm. Remember your reactions will be signals to your kids. Take care of your own needs, so that you can be more available to tend to your kids’ needs. • Keep news exposure to a minimum. While it’s tempting to stay transfixed to the TV, kids do not need to be bombarded with the gory details and horrific photos. This will help prevent emotional overload. However, don’t stick your head in the sand…kids are being exposed to the story almost everywhere.
Give your kids current information in language they can understand to alleviate misinterpretations. Do not try to shelter younger kids; they are picking up information and/or sensing parental concerns. However, answer their questions without elaboration. Don’t overload them with information beyond their emotional level to process.
Allow your kids to join in discussions and encourage questions and expressions of opinion. If they are watching TV or reading the news, help them process incoming information by discussing and “debriefing.” Ask questions and explore kids’ understanding and perspective.
Attend not only to their questions, but also to their behavior. Kids cannot always identify their stressors or relate their behavior to a particular stressor. Be aware of any significant change in behavior or personality, increase in somatic complaints (headaches, stomachaches, etc.), nervous habits, crying, nightmares, excessive clinging, etc.
Anticipate some regressive or acting-out behaviors; do not be overly concerned or critical. Recognize them as possible signs of stress. Some kids may display younger behaviors such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, tantrums. Academic performance may suffer; withdrawal from social activities may be noted. Provide reassurance and unconditional love.
Allay fears. Be sure kids know they are safe. Use visual aids (i.e.-globe, map) to convey the distance between your kids and the disaster. If there are family members away from home, be sure that their locations are noted, as well. • Allow time for play. Play is one of the most important channels kids have for dealing with stress and mastering their anxieties. Taking the role of an aggressor increases their feelings of control over their world. Younger kids may also find it easier to express their feelings through drawings.
Give your kids lots of physical affection. Allow them to be more dependent upon you during this time of stress. Kids need comfort and reassurance even more when stressed.
Encourage your kids to get involved. Taking action can alleviate feelings of helplessness and anger. Participation can range from praying, sending care packages, donating money, clothes and toiletries to the Red Cross. Find out what your local religious institution or community is doing to help with the recovery and get involved.
Seek professional help. If you see your kids becoming overly anxious, or behaviorally affected, and are at a loss as to how to deal with these issues, call your pediatrician or seek the services of a child psychologist.

Dr. Vicki is available to answer your personal questions regarding this matter. Contact her through: www.BetterParentingInstitute.com

Tags:Haiti
Posted in Empathy, Helping Families, Parenting 101, Social Conscious | 104 Comments »

10 Must-Have Summer Dresses for 2024: Trends to Elevate Your Wardrobe

Saturday, December 19th, 2009

Summer 2024 is just around the corner, and it’s time to refresh your wardrobe with the hottest dress trends of the season. Whether you’re heading to the beach, a brunch date, or a summer soirée, these 10 must-have summer dresses for women will have you turning heads everywhere you go. From vibrant prints to chic silhouettes, we’ve got you covered with the latest styles that will keep you cool and stylish all season long.
1. The Bold Floral Maxi Dress

Floral prints are a summer staple, but in 2024, they’re getting a bold makeover. Think oversized blooms in vibrant colors that make a statement. A bold floral maxi dress is perfect for those sunny days when you want to feel effortlessly chic. Pair it with strappy sandals and a wide-brimmed hat for a boho vibe, or dress it up with wedges and gold accessories for a more polished look.

Styling Tip: Opt for a dress with a flattering A-line silhouette that cinches at the waist to accentuate your figure. A deep V-neckline adds a touch of elegance while keeping the look breezy.
2. The Sheer Delight

Transparency is in! Sheer dresses are making waves this summer, adding a touch of allure to your wardrobe. Whether it’s a fully sheer overlay or just subtle sheer panels, this trend is all about showing just the right amount of skin. Look for dresses in lightweight fabrics like chiffon or organza, which allow for a graceful flow as you move.

Styling Tip: Layer your sheer dress over a matching slip or a contrasting bralette and shorts for a more daring look. Keep accessories minimal to let the sheer fabric be the star of your outfit.
3. The Retro Polka Dot Dress

Polka dots are back, and they’re bigger and bolder than ever. This playful print is perfect for adding a touch of vintage charm to your summer wardrobe. Whether in a classic black-and-white combination or vibrant colors, a polka dot dress is versatile and fun.

Styling Tip: Channel your inner retro queen by pairing your polka dot dress with cat-eye sunglasses and a pair of espadrilles. A red lip can also add that perfect pop of color to complete the look.
4. The Asymmetrical Hemline

This summer, it’s all about the unexpected. Asymmetrical hemlines are making a statement on the runways and in street style. These dresses add a modern twist to your wardrobe, with one side longer than the other, creating a dynamic and eye-catching silhouette.

Styling Tip: Let the hemline be the focal point by keeping your accessories simple. A pair of sleek ankle-strap heels will elongate your legs and enhance the asymmetric design.
5. The Color-Block Mini Dress

Bright, bold, and oh-so-fun, color-blocking is making a big splash this summer. A color-block mini dress is perfect for those who love to stand out in a crowd. Look for dresses that combine contrasting colors like fuchsia and orange, or turquoise and lime green, to make a vibrant statement.

Styling Tip: Keep your accessories within the same color family for a cohesive look. Chunky bracelets and bold earrings can enhance the playful vibe of your outfit.
6. The Slip Dress Revival

The 90s are back, and so is the slip dress! This minimalist style is perfect for the summer heat, offering a sleek and sexy look that can be dressed up or down. Opt for slip dresses in luxurious fabrics like silk or satin for a touch of glamour, or go for a casual vibe with a simple cotton version.

Styling Tip: Layer your slip dress over a basic white tee for a casual daytime look, or pair it with strappy heels and a statement necklace for a night out.
7. The Statement Sleeve Dress

Puff sleeves are here to stay, and they’re bigger and bolder for summer 2024. A dress with statement sleeves adds drama and flair to your outfit, making it perfect for those who love to experiment with fashion. Whether it’s oversized puff sleeves, billowy bishop sleeves, or ruched detailing, this trend is all about volume.

Styling Tip: Balance the dramatic sleeves with a fitted waistline to create a flattering silhouette. Keep your hair sleek and pulled back to let the sleeves take center stage.
8. The Cut-Out Craze

Cut-out dresses are having a major moment, offering a flirty and edgy look that’s perfect for summer. From subtle side cut-outs to daring open-back designs, this trend is all about showing off a bit of skin in a stylish way.

Styling Tip: Choose cut-outs that highlight your best features, whether it’s your waist, back, or shoulders. Pair with simple sandals and delicate jewelry to keep the look sophisticated.
9. The Tiered Ruffle Dress

If you’re looking for something feminine and playful, the tiered ruffle dress is your go-to this summer. This style adds movement and texture to your outfit, making it perfect for twirling on the dance floor or enjoying a breezy day out.

Styling Tip: Opt for a pastel-colored ruffle dress for a soft and romantic look, or go bold with bright hues. Pair with strappy sandals and a crossbody bag for an easy, on-the-go outfit.
10. The Classic White Linen Dress

No summer wardrobe is complete without a classic white linen dress. Timeless, versatile, and effortlessly chic, this dress is perfect for any occasion. Whether it’s a shirt dress, a wrap dress, or a simple sundress, linen keeps you cool and comfortable in the summer heat.

Styling Tip: Elevate your white linen dress with layered gold jewelry and a pair of tan leather sandals. A straw hat and woven bag complete the perfect summer look.
Incorporating These Trends into Your Wardrobe

Updating your summer wardrobe with these trends doesn’t mean you have to overhaul everything. Start by adding one or two statement pieces that resonate with your style. For instance, if you’re a fan of minimalism, the slip dress revival might be your new favorite. If you love bold fashion, try the color-block mini dress or the sheer delight trend. Mix and match with pieces you already own to create fresh, on-trend outfits.

Final Thoughts Summer 2024 is all about embracing bold colors, unique silhouettes, and playful details. Whether you’re drawn to the timeless elegance of a white linen dress or the edgy appeal of cut-out designs, there’s something for everyone this season. So, go ahead and experiment with these trends, and make your summer wardrobe as vibrant and dynamic as the season itself!

Posted in Parenting 101, Patience | 45 Comments »

Parents who live in glass houses

Monday, October 26th, 2009

balloon boy

There is an old saying, “People who live in glass houses, shouldn’t throw stones.”

People aren’t meant to live in glass houses, which was the term before the invention of reality TV.

Just last week, the Balloon Boy story took over the headlines. We now know, it was a farce as his parents wanted to get a shot at reality TV. I know the unwritten law of parents, which is ironically, don’t throw stones, but he chose to live in a glass house and didn’t consider how it might impact his children.

Was it about the money? If the father, Richard Heane is convicted of conspiracy and false reporting, his children might be without their father for up to six years; the time he might serve in prison. He was looking for a reality show and instead might get a wake-up reality check.

At the risk of sounding harsh, do you ever wish you had a Stupid Ticket to give out in such cases? Well if you click on the link, you will.

Posted in About Parental Wisdom, Parenting 101, values | No Comments »

Bed Canopies for Every Bedroom Style: From Minimalist to Boho Chic

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

A bed canopy isn’t just a decorative piece; it’s a statement that adds charm, elegance, and a touch of personal style to any bedroom. Whether you’re aiming for a serene minimalist space or a vibrant boho retreat, a canopy can effortlessly transform your bedroom into a cozy sanctuary. In this guide, we’ll explore how to adapt bed canopies to various aesthetics, helping you find the perfect match for your design vision.
1. Minimalist Elegance: Less is More

In minimalist bedrooms, simplicity and functionality are key. To complement this aesthetic, choose a bed canopy that emphasizes clean lines and muted colors. Opt for sheer fabrics like gauze or chiffon in soft neutrals such as white, beige, or light grey.

Styling Tip: Go for a ceiling-mounted canopy that drapes elegantly around the bed without overpowering the room’s simplicity. Pair it with light wood or metal bed frames to maintain a sense of openness and tranquility. This subtle touch adds texture without disrupting the serene, uncluttered vibe.
2. Scandinavian Serenity: Cozy and Practical

Scandinavian design blends minimalism with coziness, focusing on natural elements and functionality. A canopy made of lightweight linen or cotton fits perfectly in this style, offering warmth and comfort without feeling heavy.

Styling Tip: Opt for soft, earthy tones like soft browns, whites, or pale blues. A canopy that wraps around the bed or hangs from a single central point above the bed creates a relaxed, inviting atmosphere. Pair it with wooden furniture and plush textiles to enhance the cozy, hygge-inspired feel.
3. Boho Chic: Free-Spirited and Eclectic

Boho chic bedrooms are all about mixing patterns, textures, and colors to create a laid-back yet stylish space. A bed canopy in this aesthetic can be as bold as your imagination. Think vibrant colors, intricate patterns, and playful designs.

Styling Tip: For an eclectic touch, choose a canopy with tassels, macramé, or fringe detailing in bold hues like burnt orange, deep teal, or mustard yellow. Drape it loosely over the bed or attach it to a four-poster frame for a whimsical, free-spirited look. Layer in colorful pillows, tapestries, and boho rugs to complete the vibe.
4. Modern Glam: Luxurious and Polished

If your bedroom is all about glamour, a luxurious bed canopy can be the perfect finishing touch. Opt for rich fabrics like velvet or satin in jewel tones such as emerald, sapphire, or deep plum.

Styling Tip: Go for a dramatic ceiling-to-floor canopy with a bold, structured design. Combine this with a tufted headboard, mirrored furniture, and metallic accents to create a sophisticated, high-end look. This type of canopy serves as a focal point, adding instant drama and luxury to the space.
5. Farmhouse Charm: Rustic and Inviting

Farmhouse-style bedrooms are warm and welcoming, with an emphasis on rustic charm and comfort. A simple, flowing bed canopy made of cotton or muslin complements this aesthetic beautifully.

Styling Tip: Choose neutral shades like cream, ivory, or soft blush to maintain the room’s cozy atmosphere. Mount the canopy on a wooden frame or let it drape loosely from the ceiling for a relaxed, country-chic vibe. Complete the look with distressed wood furniture, soft quilts, and vintage accents.
6. Industrial Chic: Urban and Edgy

For a more industrial look, a canopy can still find its place, adding softness to an otherwise edgy aesthetic. Choose materials that contrast the room’s raw elements, like sheer fabrics against exposed brick or metal frames.

Styling Tip: Keep the canopy simple with straight lines and neutral colors like charcoal or black. A metal four-poster bed frame with a canopy draped loosely over it adds just the right touch of warmth to an urban, industrial bedroom. Pair it with concrete floors and statement lighting to balance softness with ruggedness.
7. Eclectic Mix: Playful and Bold

Eclectic bedrooms embrace the mix-and-match approach, blending various styles, patterns, and textures. A canopy in an eclectic room should stand out, whether through bold colors, dramatic shapes, or unconventional materials.

Styling Tip: Go for a statement canopy in a contrasting color to your walls and bedding. Whether you choose bold prints, velvet fabrics, or an unexpected shape, ensure your canopy feels like a curated piece of the room’s overall design. Add quirky décor pieces and layered textiles to bring your eclectic vision to life.
Versatile Focal Points for Every Room

No matter your bedroom style, bed canopies are incredibly versatile and can adapt to almost any aesthetic. The key is in the choice of materials, colors, and design that align with the room’s overall theme. Whether you prefer minimalist sophistication, boho charm, or industrial edge, a crib canopy can serve as the perfect focal point, enhancing both style and comfort in your space.
Visual Inspiration

To help you visualize these ideas, imagine a minimalist bedroom with a sleek, white canopy draped effortlessly around a low-profile bed, or a boho chic room with a vibrant canopy full of textures and colors, creating an artistic focal point. Each style offers endless possibilities for incorporating a bed canopy that speaks to your personal taste while elevating the room’s aesthetic.

Ready to transform your bedroom? Let these tips inspire you to incorporate a stylish bed canopy that complements your unique design style in 2024. Whether you’re seeking subtle elegance or bold creativity, there’s a canopy out there to fit your vision perfectly.

Posted in About Parental Wisdom, College Age, Parenting 101, Self Esteem, Teens | 9 Comments »

Parental Wisdom® by Tina Nocera