Archive for the ‘School Age’ Category

I actually left the house like this, we weren’t robbed

Sunday, September 23rd, 2012

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” -Confucius

You made a promise to yourself this wouldn’t happen again this school year.  But you aren’t certain the kitchen counter is even there anymore because it is covered with school notes, art work, party invitations, doctor appointment reminders, permission notes, picture forms, meeting and club notices, junk mail, newspapers, and bills buried somewhere in piles. 

And its dinnertime and you have no idea what dinner is going to be.  At our house, it got so bad that I would leave my husband a note in case he came home first.  “No, we weren’t robbed; I actually left the place like this.” 

I am not going to get all Martha Stewart on you because it’s difficult to get to that degree of organization, but it can be better and in your control.  It begins with simplicity.

Here are a few tips that might help:

  • When papers come in, they all go in one in-basket; go through them only one time.
    • Create file folders numbered 1 to 31 and separate folders labeled Jan to Dec.  If papers have date such as party invitations, doctor appointments, bills that are due, etc. they do in the respective monthly folder. 
    • If the due date is the current month, the papers are filed in the appropriate day folder; 1 to 31.  If you follow this process, you will never lose any papers.  
    • Art work can be placed in pizza boxes or rolled up in cardboard paper towel rolls. You can also add other folders such as gift ideas, receipts, or others that apply to you and your family.
  • Keys are always put in the same place, a key holder near the door.
  • Kids each get a place for shoes, sports gear and a basket with their name.  If needed, have another basket for the stuff they are responsible for.
      • They are in charge of emptying the baskets.  Nothing gets dumped on the floor.  For very young children, put their picture and name so they get started early and understand they are part of the household.
      • Book bags are on hooks, and when the weather gets cooler, so are coats.  Position the hooks low enough for the kids to reach them.
  • Purchase or create a mom calendar with a different spots for each family member.
  • Now for meals… Ask each family member to write down their favorite meal ideas; do this each season.   Little kids can participate if you show them pictures of healthy foods.

Since each family member contributes to the chaos, they should contribute to crafting a solution to better organization.  What ideas can you share?

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

Are you building or ruining the relationship?

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

Question: What do these situations have in common?

  1. The three-year-old having a meltdown on the check out line at Target
  2. The seven-year-old who could put in more effort at school
  3. The eighteen-year-old high school senior looking at colleges

Answer(s):

  1. They all create a certain amount of stress for parents
  2. They are NOT life threatening
  3. They ARE relationship threatening

What does that mean?

These situations become stressful because we sometimes care more about what other people think, and as a result let that influence the way we handle situations with our children.

Let’s reset the scenarios a bit:

Why is the three-year-old having a meltdown?

Did he nap?  Is he hungry?  Did you plan a marathon shopping day and this is the tail end of the six-hour trip?  Did she see something the store put as an impulse item that they want?

The looks from other people on line do not matter!

All that does matter is your relationship with your child.  The meltdown usually starts low and slowly, so you can plan your exit strategy, even if that means abandoning your shopping cart.  Make the best decision you can given that set of circumstances.

The same could be said of the effort of a grade school child.  You’re right to ask the child to do his/her best in school, and choose to be a good role model in terms of work ethic.  But realize that education works best for those who are good at following rules.  Don’t get stressed about your child not having straight A’s and instead be more concerned about their love of learning and ability to think for themselves.  When family and friends ask how the kids are doing, it’s OK they are healthy and happy.  You don’t have to ‘report’ on their report card as if it measures how well you’re doing as a parent.

The high school senior looking at colleges has more stress than he or she can handle.  Don’t let the opinions or questions of caring and concerned family and friends add to that stress.

Think of the questions they are being asked:

  1. What college are you going to?
  2. What major are you choosing?
  3. What do you want to do for the rest of your life?

Really?  Do those questions seem reasonable?

I would like to be the voice of all parents in response to family and friends and strangers with good intentions:

Thank you for your concern, now please mind your own business.  Amen!

To see the patented Parental Wisdom® concept and multiple answers to these and other questions, you can learn more and become a member.  It’s free and you are anonymous.   It really is a better mousetrap.

p.s. This is the kind of advice you should share with your friends.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle – Plato

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

time mag

When asked what he would do if he had one hour to save the world, Albert Einstein responded by saying that he would spend the first 55 minutes understanding the problem and the last 5 minutes solving it.

Hope you got a chance to read the great article in Time magazine on how schools are helping families understand and participate in their children’s education.

Let’s continue to peel this onion back and understand the real problem as to why parents might not be present at school.

Culturally, parents might feel their job is at home taking care of their husband and children. Being out at night attending a meeting takes them away from their families.
Single parents carry a heavy burden and often feel overwhelmed. Time is limited, and there is no partner to share the questions and problems with.
The perception is involvement in parenting groups is geared around fundraising and asking for money, rather than offering information about the school and various programs.
Language is often a barrier.
Some parents feel embarrased by their lack of education, and not even knowing what questions to ask.

I applaud these programs and we should all continue to understand the challenges and help our little villages whenever we can.

I did a presentation at the New York City Elementary Schools Principals Association meeting on how to bridge the gap between math and home. To read the notes, visit Parental Wisdom – Free Reports and read Bridging the Gap between Math and Home.

Tina Nocera, Founder
Parental Wisdom

The New (school) Year

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

school supplies

The following post is contributed from Dr. Stephen Jones

5 Back to School Savings Tips by Dr. Stephen Jones, a member of the Parental Wisdom advisory group

Every year thousands of parents grab a cart and engage in the age old tradition of back to school shopping. There is a level of excitement in the air as students consider new school supplies and what clothes they will wear back to school. All parents can do is look at their pockets and try to find a way to stretch a dollar. Many parents start their shopping without a plan and that’s where money is lost. Have you ever noticed how things are strategically placed around the store so that you will make random purchases? There are all kinds of pencils, notebooks and paper right within your grasp. If your looking for a great school for your son or daughter The King’s College is an amazing christian education school for them to go.

There are some things that you can do to resist the temptation to spend too much.

First make a list of the most expensive items that you need to purchase. Check the internet and advertisements in your local newspaper. This is important especially when you are purchasing electronic products like lap tops, Ipods and digital recorders. The money that you save from these purchases can add up to hundreds of dollars. Recognize that every product that has a sales tag can be bought cheaper if you are willing to do your research.

The second tip is to watch for the best day of the week to purchase clothes and other items. Some stores have sales on certain days of the week. This is done to increase the number of parent’s and students who are coming into their store. As you shop for sales it may be worth returning on another day. Talk with your relative who works in a retail store. They may have a discount that they can use on your purchases. There could be an additional discount in addition to the sale that is going on in the store.

Third there are numerous websites where you can purchase books at a discount. Search Google for discount book websites. Purchasing books online is real convenient today. Books that you order usually arrive in 3 to 5 days. Still it is better to purchase books well before they are needed. If your son/daughter needs the book to write a report the book will be available to get started early. Also consider purchasing reference books so that your son/daughter will have books to look at when they do not understand a particular definition or subject.

A forth back to school saving tip involves purchasing shoes and sneakers at a reduced price. There are stores that sell hundreds of shoes. You need to keep an eye on the prices several times a week. Sometimes local stores want to move inventory so that they will lower their prices. Ask your child how often he/she talks with their peers about where they get the best sneaker discounts.

A fifth tip is to form a group of parents who can each purchase some items in bulk. Pencils and paper can be shared by parents. Create a supplies storage container where you will keep all of the items. This is one way that you can avoid purchasing too many items that you already have. Before you go shopping go to your storage draws and take an inventory of all of things you need. You will be amazed at how much you have in storage from last year.

Now that you’ve saved hundreds of dollar focus on your child’s education. Decide on something that you will do to make education fun this year. Load up your students book bags with good snacks. Even high school students need snacks because they can loose their energy during the day. Remember a healthy body will boost a student’s performance on tests. Make your back to school journey one that is full of good expectations. You can control your back to school spending and have a great new school year too. Dr Stephen Jones is an education expert, consultant and author of three books the Seven Secrets of how to Study, the Parent’s Ultimate education Guide and the Ultimate Scholarship Guide available at www.studyskills2u.com.

Paying our dues to be part of the village

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

jaycee

A story in the news this week horrified parents. It brings a few thoughts come to mind:
• How this happened
• What caused it to be uncovered
• And, as members of the ‘village’ what we can do to prevent it

Background
An 11-year-old girl is abducted on her way to school 18 years ago, as her step-father looked on unable to deter the kidnappers. During that period, she gives birth to two daughters fathered by her captor. She is released due to the follow through of alert security guards at the University of California at Berkeley when her captor displayed suspicious behavior while visiting the campus to distribute religious material.

Today
With new school supplies, clothes, sneakers and backpacks, families across the country are excited about the start of a new school year. At the same time, we have to question the safety of our children; specifically as it relates to walking to school. Communities trying to combat childhood obesity encourage families to allow their children to walk to school, but this story could cause major setbacks in this endeavor.

If a safe, community focused approach is taken, we can keep our kids safe, and allow them the freedom and enjoyment of walking to school. Visit International Walk to School in the USA to learn how.

Keeping all of our children safe
There is a belief that a society is judged by something called the “burning building theory.” Here’s how it works. If your child was in a burning building, no doubt you would rush in to save him. But, a society is judged by the willingness of its community members to rush in to save someone else’s child. That is where the concept of the village comes in.

If the village has any chance of working, we need to recognize we’re all in this together. A candle provides a good example of how this works. When used to light another candle, the first candle doesn’t lose its light; in fact, it intensifies. So if each one of us can take care of our own family, and do just a little bit more, we can move the village concept from a wonderful idea to reality.

Experted from Because Kids Don’t Come With Manuals® by Tina Nocera

If the security guards were not observant, or did not follow through on their suspicions, Jaycee Dugard would still be a captive.

Although most situations aren’t quite this serious, there are times where we question whether or not we should say something. Here is a recent question posed by a Parental Wisdom® member that illustrates that point.

I was looking out my window this morning, and noticed a father walking quite a distance ahead of his little girl who appeared to be about 2 years old. It was easy for a car to turn into a driveway and since the little girl was so small the car wouldn’t see her and she could have been hit, or the little girl could have run into the street. My concern is, should I have said something to him? We are all cautious of correcting other parents’ behavior, but what if something could have happened to that little girl and I didn’t point it out to the father? In light of a recent tragic crash involving a mom who apparently was driving intoxicated, I am taking the concept of accident avoidance more seriously. Your advice?

To see answers from our expert advisors, click here

What do you think? Comment below.

The Promise of a New School Year

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

Each new school brings brand new sneakers, book bags and promise. Children start the school year with an A+; they have to keep it. Parents can help in a number of ways.

1. Plan ahead to reduce family stress
Whether it is the weekly meal menu, healthy lunch boxes, or having the school wardrobe ready, it’s always better to plan ahead. Include your children in the planning whenever possible. Rushing through the start of a day can easily spiral out of control.

2. Everything in it’s place
Keys, school papers, book bags, sports equipment, and musical instruments should all have a specific place in the house. Though parents can create the organization, kids need to maintain it. To help kids learn organization, consider purchasing Get Organized Without Losing It written for late elementary through middle grade. It has lots of kid-friendly humor and is written by Parental Wisdom advisor Janet Fox.

3. Set your children up for success
Studies continually show that children that each a good breakfast with lots of protein can concentrate better in school. Get them up a little earlier to start the day right.

4. Provide a study spot
a. Have school supplies in a place that is quiet and free from distractions.
b. Teach them about budgeting their time so projects are ready, not rushed.
c. Review (not do) their homework so you know what is going on at school.
d. Make sure you dig deep into book bags so you can read all school notes.

5. Don’t wait for a red flag or a bad report card before recognizing a struggling student. Contact the teacher before your child gets too far behind.

6. Encourage safety
a. If your child walks to school, make sure he knows how to obey traffic rules.
b. If she rides a bike, be sure she wears a helmet.
c. If he rides the bus, make sure the school district has installed seat belts.
d. Children can only learn if they feel safe. If your child is being bullied, discuss the situation with school officials and insist school programs that teach tolerance and inclusion such as Operation Respect. They offer free programs to schools.

7. Don’t let over-scheduling take away your precious family time. Limit the number of activities you allow your child to participate in.

8. Have dinner together every night. Use this a way for your family to stay connected and to let your children know they belong. Read more about Family Day, which is September 22nd. Pay attention to which subjects and teachers your child talks about. Often those are the teachers that have the most profound impact on your child. Write the teacher a note to let them know their influence.

9. Create an environment for lifelong learning, and teach your children that lessons can easily extend beyond the classroom. Extracurricular and family activities are good ways to help your child learn new things and gain confidence in his or her abilities.

10. Stay involved in your child’s school and participate especially when opportunities arise to meet your child’s classmates such as book fairs or school trips.

11. Keep in touch with your children’s teachers and let them know of any situation that may affect your child in school such as a family illness, recent move, job loss or divorce.

12. When your children challenge your family rules, as compared to their friends’ houses, such as no TV during the week, explain clearly but firmly that things are done differently in your house.

13. Routines are important to children as it helps them feel secure. Consistency is key when it come to bath time, reading and bedtime.

14. Remember you are preparing our next workforce generation. Be sure to instill the importance of showing up and not let your children stay home from school unless it’s absolutely necessary. In the same respect, make sure they understand that being on time is equally important.

15. Make learning real. Show how school skills are needed for such day-to-day activities as cooking from a recipe, balancing a checkbook and writing thank-you notes.

Beating the Bullies

Sunday, April 27th, 2008

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is estimated that each school day, over 160,000 children stay home because of bullying.
Since many of us have experienced some form of bullying we know that the power of the bully is diminished when there are no followers.

Each day, when your child leaves for school remember to give them a hug to let them know they are loved. In a more subtle way, encourage their own personal power, and as you discuss the kind of a day they had over dinner, listen carefully to what they say and know when to step in when they need you, and help them with school and homework, since they need to feel supported, even if they need to write an essay and you’re not sure how to do it, you can always use resources from sites as https://bid4papers.com/blog/write-my-essay-free to help you and be able to help your kids with education.

Here is a high school student’s college admissions essay that I had to share:

“If I held the thermometer tightly in my hands, I could raise the temperature just enough so that I could stay home from school without my parents being concerned enough to take me to the doctor. This worked in the past, whenever I felt the need to fake an illness to get a break from being teased at school.

I had resigned myself to the fact that the teasing had to be my fault. Perhaps I should have raised my hand less when I had the right answer. Perhaps I should have laughed at the joke, even if I didn’t think it was funny. It was about fitting in. Although it was fairly constant, the teasing was subtle, too subtle to report without making me sound like a wimp.

One day everything changed. It happened as the 5th grade lined up for library. John was short by 3rd grade standards. He wore very thick glasses, and was not able to stand up straight due to some sort of spine curvature. This made him a prime target for the bullies. The teasing inflicted on John was much worse than anything I had experienced. But on that particular day, some of our classmates started knocking on his front and back to laugh at the sound that resulted from the plastic plates he wore under his shirt. It was more than I could take.

I don’t know where it came from, but I became almost ‘Hulk-like’ with anger. To this day, I honestly can’t say if I stood up for John because of the cruel punishment he was getting, or if I was finally dealing with the fact that neither of us, or anyone else for that matter, deserved to be treated that way. I stood in the middle of the cool kids, only a bit taller than John, and let them have it. My voice was loud and cracking, and my cheeks were flushed, but I somehow found the words that had been buried inside me for the entire year. ‘Do you like being mean? How would you feel if you were in his place?’ I was so afraid it would slip that I was really referring to the way they treated me, but fortunately I didn’t. When I finished, one kid made a joke, but the rest were quiet and looked down. The crowd dispersed as the teacher came around, but she never did understand the minor commotion.

We are now in our senior year in high school, yet John and I have never spoken of that day. Sometimes he will give me a little smile as we pass each other in the hall. Perhaps it’s my imagination but I have to believe he stood just a bit taller from that day on. I know I did.”

Tina Nocera
Parental Wisdom

Don’t you want to be an accountant?

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

accountant.png

“Consider a career you may have never imagined,” and the discussion begins. Corporations such as Deloitte are reaching out to high schools to persuade students to join their ranks. Their objective is to convey the benefits of working with sponsor companies. They do this by drafting curricula, lesson plans and equipment with the hope of creating a pipeline of workers far into the future.

Businesses are now influencing schools in a way that is much different than when businesses simply wanted students to become customers. This is in response to a fearful shortage of workers from the coming labor force.

Some are worried about a commercial agenda influencing schools, and the potential loss of creativity and entrepreneurial spirit.

On the plus side, students that may not have any idea what to do with their life, may get on an ‘express line’ to a career. It can also finally answer the age old question kids have when learning math and science, “When will I ever use this?”

Capitalizing on teachable moments

Monday, March 17th, 2008

spitzer.png

A good reputation is more valuable than money.
– Publilius Syrus 100 BC Maxims

In the midst of our incredibly busy days, parents search for something called quality time. But time is time, and each week we are given exactly 10,080 minutes; no more, no less. Time is the great equalizer – it doesn’t matter how much or how little money you have.

How we spend that time is what matters. Interestingly, we often spend time in things we can document, quantify or measure, such as activities like sports, school, chores, and work. But what matters more are the things you can’t measure, such as the impact of teachable moments. We need to look at those opportunities as gifts and capitalize on them.

Thank you Former Governor Spitzer. Thank you for giving us the opportunity the explain to our children the difference between little and big mistakes. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to ask our children a simple but very important question,

“What do you think your reputation is worth?”

Since we are surrounded by popular culture, what used to be considered infamous is now immediately considered famous. We are in the parenting fight of our lives and need to find opportunities to reinforce our values despite the world’s perceptions of values imploding around us.

The young woman in the Spitzer case stands to make millions from the publicity. Again, discuss with your children what her reputation is really worth? A new show called Moment of Truth offers large money prizes for true answers. Unless you’ve lead a Mother Teresa-like existence, I would suggest not trading your reputation and family embarrassment for dollars.

Despite your best attempts, you can’t be around your children all the time, so the next best thing is to make sure they are thinking before they act. No doubt they will make mistakes, but have discussions that reinforce the values you want to instill so you can at least minimize that possibility. I know you think children sometimes don’t listen, but they do. After all, if we didn’t listen, how could you explain that when we grow up we all sound just like our mothers or fathers.

As you end your discussion, put this seed in your child’s head;

“Before you do something – think, would you be proud or embarrassed for us to learn about it?”

That will tell them all they need to know.

Just a Blip on the Screen

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

messy-kid.png

I’m always talking to parents, and inevitably there are frustrations that come with the territory. One mom was frustrated about toilet training, another about a child not helping around the house, while another was tired of the constant mess.

As our children get older, we see a bright future, and they may decide that our vision is not theirs. Parents want college for their kids, because as one dad told me, “The only thing more expensive than a college education is not having one.”

And then our children may decide it is not for them. They would rather backpack across Europe, play the guitar or learn a trade. Major disappointment and embarrassment for parents.

No different than the frustrations of the parents of younger children, just a later time. But if you’re really smart, you’ll understand that it is just a blip on the screen. The important thing is the relationship you have with your child.

We don’t remember days, we remember memories. Make sure the ones you’re building are not filled with hostility

 

Benefits of Adderall Alternatives

Using non-prescription alternatives for enhancing focus offers several benefits over using Adderall:

Safety: Unlike prescription medications like Adderall, these alternatives are generally considered safer due to their natural ingredients.

No Prescription Required: You can purchase these alternatives without needing a prescription from a healthcare professional.

Reduced Side Effects: While Adderall may cause side effects such as insomnia or loss of appetite, many alternative options have fewer or milder side effects.

Long-Term Use: Alternative options can be used for extended periods without the risk of dependency or addiction associated with stimulant medications.

Improving Focus and Mental Clarity

In addition to using cognitive enhancers, there are other ways to improve focus and mental clarity without relying on Adderall:

Establish a Routine: Creating a structured daily routine can help minimize distractions and promote better focus.

Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help calm the mind and improve concentration.

Get Enough Sleep: A well-rested brain is more alert and focused. Aim for seven to eight hours of quality sleep each night.

Stay Hydrated: Dehydration can lead to brain fog and decreased cognitive function. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay mentally sharp.

By exploring these non-prescription alternatives and implementing healthy habits, you can enhance your focus and concentration without the use of Adderall. Remember that everyone’s response may vary, so it’s essential to find what works best for you.

Boosting Concentration: Nonstimulant Alternatives to Adderall

If you’re looking for ways to enhance your concentration without relying on stimulant medications like Adderall, there are several non-stimulant options worth exploring. These alternatives can help boost your focus and cognitive performance without the side effects or addictive properties of stimulants. Let’s dive in and discover some effective choices that promote better concentration naturally.

Nootropic Supplements: Unlocking Cognitive Benefits

Nootropic supplements, also known as “smart drugs,” have gained popularity for their ability to enhance cognitive function. Unlike stimulants, these supplements work by targeting specific neurotransmitters in the brain to improve focus and concentration. Here are a few nootropic options that can help you stay sharp:

Citicoline: This compound is crucial for brain health as it supports the production of acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter involved in learning and memory retention. By increasing acetylcholine levels, citicoline can improve attention span and mental clarity.

Pterostilbene: Found in blueberries and grapes, pterostilbene is a natural compound with antioxidant properties. It has been shown to enhance cognitive function by promoting neuroplasticity, which allows the brain to adapt and form new connections more efficiently.

Medications: Non-Stimulant Options

If you’re seeking pharmaceutical adderall alternatives for adults that don’t rely on stimulants, there are a couple of medications worth considering:

Atomoxetine: Approved by the FDA for treating attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), atomoxetine works by increasing norepinephrine levels in the brain. This neurotransmitter plays a crucial role in regulating attention and focus.

Clonidine: Originally used as an antihypertensive medication, clonidine has also shown promise in managing ADHD symptoms. It works by stimulating alpha-2 adrenergic receptors, which helps regulate norepinephrine activity and improve focus.

Natural Methods: Enhancing Concentration Holistically

If you prefer to take a more natural approach to improving concentration, there are lifestyle changes and habits you can adopt:

Get enough sleep: A good night’s sleep is essential for optimal cognitive function. Lack of sleep can impair attention and make it challenging to concentrate. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night.

Exercise regularly: Physical activity has been shown to have numerous cognitive benefits, including improved focus and mental clarity. Engage in activities like jogging, swimming, or yoga to boost brain health.

Reduce caffeine intake: While caffeine can provide a temporary energy boost, excessive consumption may lead to jitteriness and difficulty concentrating. Limit your intake of coffee, tea, energy drinks, and other caffeinated beverages.