Constraints help us be more creative

February 23rd, 2014

Next week, parents and teachers join forces to celebrate Read Across America Day, annually held on March 2. This nationwide observance coincides with the birthday of Dr Seuss, who is known for writing children’s books.

Teachers dress up and plan activities demonstrating the fun of reading.  Though geared to students, there is a lesson we can all learn from Dr. Seuss.

In 1960 his publisher at Random House, Bennett Cerf, made a wager with Theodor S. Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) that he could write an intelligent, entertaining children’s book only using 50 words.

Geisel won the bet and $50; one dollar for each word. Despite the limitation of words, over 200 million copies of Green Eggs and Ham have been sold.

Kids of all ages can learn how constraints help us be more creative.

Constraints are often used as an excuse for not moving forward.  Instead, let’s embrace them and come up with creative solutions.  Don’t buy your child a creativity kit, which is an oxymoron, but rather give them things you have around the house and ask them to create something.  You might be surprised at the result. Talk about how limitations helped the ground crew bring home the astronauts from Apollo 13.

In business, we look for reasons that stand in the way of us being innovative.  We don’t have the time or money, or we haven’t vetted out ideas properly, or don’t have the right talent. I’ve written this before, but if we wait till all the lights are green before we leave for work, we will never begin.

As our children’s greatest role model, what is it that you would love to do?  Get started despite the constraints, and your children will follow your lead.

You may even want to fry up Green Eggs and Ham!

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

When is a minute not equal to a minute

January 26th, 2014

Some of the best ideas I get seem to happen when I’m doing mindless manual labor or exercise. I’m not sure how that happens, but it leaves me free for remarkable ideas to occur.  – Chuck Palahniuk

The January 25th WSJ featured an essay entitled, Why Mom’s Time Is Different from Dad’s Time.

The premise is that even though moms are working more and dads are contributing more, even if the time is equal the tasks are not.

So when does a minute not equal a minute? The answer is when the intensity of the task takes more focus, thought, single mindedness, etc.

When divvying up tasks, most moms will take the dishes because, “The dishes don’t talk back to you.” 

Reading through this, my thoughts trailed back to my childhood.  As the second eldest in a family of six kids, I remember my mother doing the dishes and singing Everybody’s talking at me.

In our multi-tasking, attention grabbing, never quiet present day society, we would willingly gravitate to the tasks that are, for lack of a better word, mindless.

I know I do…call me crazy, but I LOVE ironing!  My mind wanders, but yet at the same time there is attention to detail on the task at hand.

Most would agree that Moms are the CEO’s of the household and in that role, need time for quiet reflection.  So dads, volunteer for bath time after dinner, so moms can get lost in the dishes.

For fun, here are two links:

1.   From the past the classic Honeymooners show “A woman’s work is never done

2.   Present day link from Buzzfeed “Why dads can’t be Trusted to do Anything Right.”

Now, if you will excuse me…the ironing pile is calling.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Is it possible to quantify trust?

January 18th, 2014

This week marked the fifth anniversary of the Miracle on the Hudson, where Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III safely glided U.S. Airways Flight 1549 after a flock of geese disabled the engines.

The more interesting fact may be that not one of the 150 passengers sued the airline, which is pretty surprising considering our very litigious society.  Even though no one was at fault, that rarely stops a firm looking for a good class action law suit.

Perhaps no one sued because of the enormous trust the passengers had in the pilot who demonstrated incredible character under such pressure, dismissing the praise by saying he was just doing his job?

Trust is earned but rarely quantified.

This would be a great discussion over dinner with the kids when you talk about how one person can make a difference.  Certainly ‘Sully’ who could be considered the Tom Hanks of air travel made a difference on January 15th 2009 to the lives of 150 people.

What difference can each of us make?

“The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?’
Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him.”

-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

We are moved by our emotions

January 3rd, 2014

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”

 -Helen Keller

One of life’s biggest frustrations is knowing the right thing to do and not doing it.

Sometimes it is because we wait for things to be perfect which is like saying I don’t want to leave for work until all the lights are green.

But a friend (thanks Suzanne!) posted a link to an article The Important Thing About Yelling by Rachel Macy Stafford which causes you to stop and think.

That article coupled with an amazing ad directed to moms demonstrates how critical moms are of the job they do, while their kids have a totally different and far more positive reaction.

The clichés express we are to enjoy each moment. Since we are driven by our emotions, I thought the article and video will help.

But simply stated moms, lighten up!

You see – the greatest impact you will have in the world is on your own family.  And you can do that every day in little ways by finding reasons to celebrate without waiting for the big traditional holidays.

First up – Trivia Day – January 4th

What I love about this ‘holiday’ is that you could tailor it to your own family.   Think about creating:

For future ‘holiday’ days/dates – please follow me on Twitter

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

As Nike says…just do it!

December 31st, 2013

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one.  -Brad Paisley

December 1st I promised to perform 24 Random Acts of Kindness, and post tweets each day – see #randomactsofkindness2013 .

  • I suspected at first it would be a challenge to find ways to be kind.
  • I hoped that as I started down this path, it would feel natural.
  • I learned you feel better doing RAOK thus creating a positive momentum.

This is a good tie into the first day of the New Year, and the hopes that come along with a new beginning.  There are hundreds of motivational quotes that we all read.  Want to know a secret?  Reading them isn’t enough – you actually have to act!

  • Buying a workout DVD is great, but you have to open it & exercise daily.
  • Resolving to spend more time with your kids is meaningful, but you have to put down the phone and be present.
  • Deciding to reach out to people that you’ve meant to connect with is nice, but you have to (get the irony here) pick up the phone and call them.
  • If you want to improve things in your life, then don’t waste your life.  Start doing things that you love to do.
  • If you are happy with the status quo, then keep on doing what you’re doing.

I will be posting motivational tweets each day; please feel free to follow me.

Happy New Year, and 2014 – please be good to us!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

 

We must not give our children too much

December 15th, 2013

Your children need your presence more than your presents.  – Jesse Jackson

Privileged Texas teen Ethan Couch was charged in the deaths of four pedestrians while driving drunk.

His attorney used the ‘affluenza’ defense claiming that he had a sense of entitlement and was irresponsible.  His poor behavior was due to the fact that his parents did not set proper boundaries.

The judge gave the teen 10 years of probation for the fatal accident. Prosecutors were seeking the maximum 20-year prison sentence.

In the season of giving, you may want to give your children less in terms of material things.

You may want to consider the four gift rule:

  1. 1 thing they want
  2. 1 thing they need
  3. 1 thing they wear
  4. 1 thing they read

You are probably done shopping now.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

Random Acts of Kindness 2013

December 1st, 2013

The countdown begins!

December 1 is day one as little children open Advent Calendars eager to find a surprise each day until December 24th.

The holiday season is our time to build family memories.  

Some families cut down their own tree; others watch classic holiday movies, some bake cookies, while others write an annual holiday letter.  The common thread is just that – a thread, and threads are like habits.

Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken.

-Horace Mann

It’s never too late to start new traditions. I’m going to start a new tradition this year which is to perform a random act of kindness each day until December 24th.

Please follow me on twitter #randomactsofkindness2013.

Traditions matter more than the gifts and more than you realize. Ask your children about their favorite holiday traditions. Guarantee this will make you smile.

Have a great week!

Tina Nocera, Founder
Parental Wisdom®

The beauty of a hug

November 18th, 2013

 

 

Most likely you have seen the news clips…a soldier returns from combat to his surprised family as you reach for the tissues.

Let me share what is like when hundreds of soldiers return to their families when the element of surprise is removed.  The Army band plays as the large screen projects images of the soldiers while they were away and the picture the soldiers received of their families back home.  Homemade welcome home posters can be seen in the stands and little children wearing My Dad is Home t-shirts run around Veterans handing out flags.

Months of anticipation and worry brought us all to this day.  In the crowd, moms hold babies born after deployment and toddlers too little to know let alone remember their deployed parent.  If parenting is tough with two parents, how difficult is it when one parent is unreachable and in combat?  But what the families have been through is nothing compared to what these soldiers have been through.

Then the greatest sound in the world…the siren of police escorts as the buses arrive.  The soldiers march in formation as the band plays. The Chaplin says a prayer of gratitude for their safe return; the commander thanks the soldiers for their service in what could be the shortest speech in history.  The families are waiting for his closing statement which is…find your soldier!

The best pictures are the ones not taken because we are all so focused on the joy of the moment that no one cares about taking pictures.

And you realize the only gift that matters is a hug.  So much to be thankful for!

Enjoy the holiday season.

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have we really evolved – Part 2

October 20th, 2013

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

-Spanish philosopher George Santayana (1863-1952)

History has a pattern of repeating itself.

14-year-old Rebecca Sedwick jumped to her death from a third-story cement plant structure in central Florida on Sept. 10th after being verbally, physically and cyber bullied throughout 2012 and 2013.

In November of 2007, I wrote a blog on bullying entitled Have we really evolved?

Apparently, we haven’t come that far despite the fact that in 2006 what started as a week long anti-bullying event eventually turned into a month long anti-bullying movement.

I read through my past blog posts and found others on this topic:

  1. Beating the Bullies
  2. Before you gossip; ask these three questions
  3. You’ve got to be carefully taught
  4.  You’re not the boss of me
  5. Three simple ways to stop bullying
  6. Creatively connecting the dots

Despite the efforts of organizations and educators, the bullying continues.  With always available technology, it has gotten worse.

So how does it ever get better?

Not with events or movements, not with the adults stepping in, but rather individual children believing they are good enough and other children are too.  This happens when children feel unconditional love.

Bullying will end when bullies have no followers.  When acting alone, bullies are ineffective.

Perhaps that is the message of hope.

Tell your children don’t be a victim, and don’t let the bully be a victor.  The way to end bullying might be as simple as supply and demand.

We don’t need another family burying a child.   You may also might want to see Barbara Gilmour’s site http://www.coolkindkid.com/

Have a good week!
Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®

 

I love to watch you play

September 14th, 2013

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there. ~Barbara Bush

As we begin school, we begin sports.

I was inspired by this article posted on the Huffinton Post by Rachel Macy.

I loved her message!

The essence is this….our children want us to attend their sporting events, but don’t want to hear our good or bad comments.  They simply want us to be there.   That takes the pressure off them AND off us!

We don’t have to think up motivational comments.  What they love to hear is about how we FEEL about the event, simply and truthfully stated as “I love to watch you play.”

And isn’t that exactly what you are feeling?

What I love is how this message can translate to so many every day and extraordinary events in our children’s lives.  We are so happy to be part of these events and we really do LOVE to watch them play, and read, and cook, and laugh.  The list goes on and on.

Have a great ‘pressure free’ week.

 

Tina Nocera, Founder

Parental Wisdom®